When we talk about the Middle East

By | Aug 24, 2010

By Symi Rom-Rymer

I think Thomas Friedman can read my mind.  Just as I sat down to write this blog post, I came across a new op-ed of his that addressed my very topic.  (Hat tip to Mr. Friedman)

In his op-ed, Friedman takes on recent efforts by Western political leaders and entertainment personalities to delegitimize Israel.  He argues that Israel is a complex and multi-faceted country that deserves to be seen and understood in all of its nuance rather than as a symbol of unfettered cruelty.  Furthermore, he gives his readers a glimpse into the Israeli psyche and shows just how it fits into the context of the greater Middle East.  But more importantly, he demonstrates that simplistic views, such as the ones put forth by Britain’s Prime Minister or Oliver Stone, serve not to ameliorate the situation, but rather simply prolong the anguish for all involved.

Friedman’s views may not be particularly novel, but his words rang especially true for me in the wake of a rather emotional conversation I had with a new Brazilian acquaintance, Peter (not his real name).  We were both participants in a journalism training course in Prague and were relaxing at a bar with friends at the end of an intense week.   Suddenly, one of the people in our group mentioned that Peter’s last name is also common Brazilian Jewish name.  Teasingly, I turned to him and suggested that he might actually be Jewish.  His immediate reply of: “no, I don’t want to be Jewish,” didn’t bother me until he added that the reason he didn’t want to be Jewish because of Israel.   He felt that Jews were selfish in their dealings with Palestinians and in their refusal to give more land to the Palestinian state.  Blindsided, I didn’t quite know what to say.  I had expected a simple answer of “I don’t want to keep Kosher” or even, “I’m Catholic, why would I want to convert?” My immediate response—although unsaid—was to reply defensively and demand to know what was so bad about Israel.  Another part of me wanted to give him a crash course in Jewish politics and explain the huge rifts within the American Jewish community over that very topic.  A third part of me felt grateful.

Grateful because I have always felt secure about my place as a Jew in the American mainstream.  While I’ve certainly gotten into heated discussions with people–primarily other Jews–about Israel or other Jewish topics, I’ve always felt supported by a larger network of voices.  I’ve never felt alone.  But during that quick conversation, I caught a glimpse of what it might be like for Jews from smaller communities elsewhere in the world for whom expressing their religion or their pro-Israeli views is a never-ending exercise in self-defense.  A whiff of realization of what it might feel like to always be conscious of one’s minority status.  American Jews are lucky.  Our community is strong and organized and not afraid—for better or worse–to speak out.   We don’t feel the need to hide our kippot in public or our synagogues behind innocuous facades.   We have a vast network to which we can turn to learn how to respond to anti-Israeli sentiment.   While we might not all agree on what anti-Israeli sentiment sounds like, we all, especially today, can find a group from whom to draw confidence in our position as American Jews.   Can the same be said for South American or European Jews?  Based on anecdotal evidence, I’m skeptical.

Peter and I chose to end the conversation when we realized that a slightly tipsy discussion at a bar about the Middle East was not the best place to talk about such a sensitive topic.  Plus, I, and perhaps he too, felt that a potential friendship was more important than an emotionally fueled argument with an outcome that could have left us both uncomfortable in each other’s presence.

Thomas Friedman separates criticism of Israel into two categories: constructive and destructive.   To him, constructive criticism is to acknowledge Israel and to view its actions within the larger context of the Middle East while looking for a real solution.  Destructive criticism is to maintain the status quo and to single out Israel’s destructive behavior while ignoring all others.   While I think Peter’s views of Jews and Israelis falls into the destructive category, I wasn’t willing to take him on.  Perhaps next time, I won’t have to.  I’ll simply hand over Friedman’s op-ed and calmly ask if he wants to be part of the problem or part of the solution.

Symi Rom-Rymer writes and blogs about Jewish and Muslim communities in the US and Europe. She has been published in JTA, The Christian Science Monitor and Jewcy.

One thought on “When we talk about the Middle East

  1. Vlady says:

    Excellent peace catching the essence of ME conflict perception difference between Jews and non Jews. Often, to non Jewish nonchalant intellectuals without deep knowledge of history and attachment to Israel is just a nuisance that disturbs world peace. To Jews Israel is much more than the geographical place or political entity. It’s a big part of identifying themselves as Jews. Nothing can be done in closing this emotional gap.

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