Prove Your Comedy Chops with Moment’s Cartoon Caption Contest
Welcome to the Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest, founded with the help of New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff, and drawn by New Yorker cartoonist Ben Schwartz.
Do you have a way with words and humor? If so, look at the cartoon below and send us a caption—or two or three! Plus scroll down to vote for your favorite caption. It’s free and fun!
Winners may claim a free Moment subscription for a friend of family member. Contest open to U.S. residents 18 and above.
Plus: Read interviews with some of our most prolific caption contest contributors here.
Submit a caption for this cartoon by October 15 by writing it in as a comment at the bottom of this page!
Vote for your favorite caption by filling out the form immediately below!
“They want to add WHO?”
—Sy Zilberstein, Huntington Beach, CA
“It’s not heaven, it’s South Dakota.”
—Michael Lomazow, Riverside, CA
“Then the Lord said to Moses, oops, wrong mountain!”
—Shari Kibel, NY
Vote for your favorite! The winner will receive a free subscription to Moment to give to a friend. Any U.S. resident age 18 or older can enter.
Vote for your favorite caption
Chuckle at the Spring 2026 winning caption—and see who wrote it!
“Hear O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is #1!”
—Ben Goldberg, Port Chester, NY
How to Submit Your Caption(s)
Submit as a comment below. Finalists will appear in the upcoming issue. To vote for the winner of the current contest, use the vote form.
Note: By submitting a caption, voting or leaving a reply, you are agreeing to receive Moment‘s award-winning newsletters.
“Would you like some Jewish AI company to join you?”
“So *here*’s the beef…”
“What’s your menu for the *High* Holidays?”
“So this is the ‘Pay Over Time’ ….’Extreme Guilt’ ….. ‘Ultimate Fast Buster’!”
‘Eat it in an hour or less and it’s free?”
“I ordered the ‘Kids Chicken Nuggets Plate’ and ‘Fries’!”
“What’s for dessert, besides ALKA-SELTZER?”
“I’ll need 10 doggie bags to go home!”
“It’s a good thing I’m on a diet, otherwise I would have ordered 2 sandwiches!”
“Comes with a side of Ozempic, right?”
“40.00 for the meat,60.00 for delivery.”
“My doctor says I should watch my calorie intake ….. do you have a mirror I can borrow?”
“I would like a diet cola please?”
“I can’t remember if my doctor said get extra fries ….. or more exercise!”
“Is the bun low cal?”
“I said low-cal not the whole cow!”
“So this is the ‘Ultimate Fast Buster’?”
“Is this a 1 pickle sandwich, now I am in a pickle about this problem!”
“Can you call my car driver and request a BIG BUS to get me home?”
“I should have ordered the BAGEL & LOX with CREAM CHEESE sandwich!”
“May I order a gallon of LIGHT BEER to keep down the calorie count?!”
“This is the Tuesday ‘buy one get one’ lunch special?”
“Bring on the NATHAN’S FAMOUS HOT DOG contest! I must insist on pure beef KOSHER DOGS.
“Will that be cash,charge or are you financing?”
“This is complements of ‘WHAT WOMAN’ at the bar?”
“Why did you raise the age limit for ordering this sandwich to 90 years old?”
And another Diet Dr. Browns?
Kosher? I’m not even sure it is legal!
That’s one helluva toothpick!
“If I had a BIB, then I could have eaten more!”
A young man should consider his future, like 36 hours from now.
And who got the half sandwich?
The Moment Mag Staff instead of a new paid subscription!
“After eating, I request a pillow & blanket!”
“After I rest with my pillow & blanket, just call me a ‘PIG in a Blanket!'”
“This is not the lucid dream I had in mind!”
“I said no pickle.”
“Where’s my side salad?”
“Most people can’t talk with food in their mouths; I can’t talk with food in my stomach!”
“Would it kill you just one time to make bagels with cream cheese the lunch special?”
“Moses never ate a pastrami sandwich, but he was content to eat a ritual diet form MATZAH!”
“I don’t see the pastrami!?”
“Is there such a thing as a CHILDREN’S MENU?”
“May I have a doggy ba… elephant bag?”
“Eating this pastrami sandwich gives meaning to being ‘BOGGED DOWN.’ Also, in a ‘FOOD COMA’ comes to mind.”
What a rye sense of humor!
Here’s the shawarma sandwich you ordered!
With so much meat, we’re not making much dough!
This is our “Tower of Babel” sandwich, but everyone calls it something different!
We add an inch each time Mamdani lies about Israel!
“Would you believe this sandwich tastes like bloody chicken?”
“In case of broken teeth eating this sandwich, the manager is a retired dentist.”
“If choking occurs, then raise your hand and you will be led to the rescue squad nearby!”
“Sorry, but we do not give a discount to anyone with an eating disorder!”
“Dayenu.”
“I distinctly said footlong.”
“We recommend this sandwich for your last meal as a contestant on ‘NAKED & AFRAID!'”
“When you finish your meal, you can donate money to starving people in the world!”
All that food and you only give me one pickle?
I’m sorry. I wanted it rare with extra cheese………to go.
“What do you mean by this sandwich stretches your budget, as well as your stomach?”
Your mother told us you needed a little more meat on your bones!
“I only dropped this sandwich once on the floor back in the kitchen!”
The dislocated jaw procedure is included in the price.
Your cardiologist just called to say goodbye
“A dill pickle with a side order of forty latkes isn’t the craziest order you’ve prepared during your thirty year career as a short order cook?”
“I thought you were a ‘Short Order’ cook!”
“Our food preparer uses the FINGER LICKING GOOD on every sandwich served!”
“We can play the music ‘Eat It’ by Weird Al Yankovic!”
“What is a ‘short order’ cook? Is there also ‘short order’ waitresses or waiters?”
Our staff are all DWARVES, so they are definitely “SHORT ORDER” workers!
“If you can’t find happiness eating this sandwich, then BITE ME!”
Carnegie Deli is Back!