• Favorite Jewish saying
Se vet dir helfn vi a toytn bunkes. “It will help you like a dead man will be helped by eye cups.” I haven’t used that in years. It just came to me.
• Favorite Jewish curse
Du zol vaksn beets bay dayn tokhes un pishn burik zup. You should grow beets on your ass and piss beet soup. Du zol vaksn a trolley oytomobil arayn dayn mogn un drek transfers. You should grow a trolley car in your stomach and shit transfers.
• Most overused Yiddish word
“Oy” is not overused. It’s used enough.
• Best Jewish tradition
Not hitting other people.
• Worst Jewish tradition
Going to shul.
• Favorite Jew
My new favorite Jew is Abraham Lincoln.
• Favorite anti-Semite
I think Hitler wins hands down.
• Favorite comedian today
There are three: Bill Maher, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.
• Favorite Jewish food
Latkes. I haven’t had them in a long time. Potato latkes.
• Favorite biblical character
It would have to be Moses.
• Least-favorite Jewish food
There’s no such thing. Tongue sandwiches. I just had a tongue sandwich. I had it sliced and then I boiled it to get the salt out.
Photos: © Eric Grigorian
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