Cheesecake and Conflict

What does Shavuot mean? In Hebrew, the word literally translates to “weeks.” The holiday of the same name is known as “the feast of weeks,” because it falls seven weeks after the second day of Passover and commemorates God giving the Torah to the Jewish people over 3,300 years ago. And so, Shavuot is a time of reflection, celebration and reaffirming one’s faith. 

Ironically, the first time I celebrated Shavuot I was questioning my faith. Two years ago, my mom died of pancreatic cancer. Although she had lived and died in the United States, she was born in Israel and wanted to be buried there, so I was in Israel for over a month for her funeral and the memorial. As a 21-year-old graduate student at the time, I found it hard being away from home, from my life and my friends, and at first I resented her for it. But after her funeral, and after a few weeks went by in Israel, I had gotten much closer with my family there (I’d only been to Israel twice before, earlier that year). Here in the United States, my family is small, now consisting of four people including me. In Israel, it is a lot bigger. During my time there, I observed how close familial relationships can be; my cousins are related to me on their mother’s side, but every Shabbat or holiday they had celebrated with their father’s side, I was invited to join them and quickly accepted as part of the family. So, when Shavuot fell at the end of May 2023, the entire family gathered together wearing white, sporting flower crowns and eating an unhealthy amount of dairy. 

In the end, I repaired my relationship with faith, and instead of hating God for the family I had lost, I was extremely grateful for the one I had gained. Going to Israel has been like a Band-Aid for my soul, so I was excited to go back this spring to be with my family for my mom’s memorial and also to meet my boyfriend’s family. But as luck and the Houthis would have it, I didn’t make it there; our flight was canceled after the Iran-backed group threatened an “aerial blockade” on Israel following its missile strike on Ben-Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv (El Al was still flying in and out of Israel, but the cost was astronomical, and seats were selling out within minutes anyway). All hope was lost at a time when I felt like I needed an escape from America, where I can see and feel antisemitism rising. Not two weeks after I was supposed to leave for Israel, two Israeli embassy staffers were shot and killed in front of the Capital Jewish Museum in Washington, DC, in the name of freeing Palestine. It hit very close to home, as my boyfriend had close ties to the young couple. 

Targeting Jews will not free Palestine.

Sarah Milgrim and Yaron Lischinsky were murdered on May 21, 2025. Although I didn’t know them personally, I have thought about them every day since. Two weeks before they were killed, I was at a Jewish event with my boyfriend, standing in the back of the venue. About a foot away were Sarah and Yaron. I didn’t know their names then, but I remember thinking that they looked so happy. They had their entire futures ahead of them, but little did any of us know that two weeks later, that future would be gone. I heard that they were supposed to fly to Israel together for Shavuot where Sarah was going to meet Yaron’s family, and Yaron was going to propose to her. I wish we all could have made it to Israel. 

The scary reality is that terrorist attacks happen frequently in Israel, but deep down, I know that if I were there, I would be surrounded by people who mourn the deaths of innocent Jews rather than people who celebrate or justify it, which I have seen a lot of on the internet. I would be surrounded by people who share the stories of the victims out of respect and genuine humanity rather than for personal gain and their image. After the shooting in DC, I had people tell me they initially thought my boyfriend and I were the victims, which is a terrible and insensitive thing to say to someone after a terror attack. But in a way, we are all Sarah and Yaron, and they were us. Two days ago—the day Shavuot started—another act of antisemitic terrorism occurred in Boulder, CO, when a man targeted a peaceful march calling for the release of Israeli hostages being held in Gaza. The suspect has been identified as 45-year-old Mohamed Sabry Soliman, who was allegedly heard screaming “Free Palestine!” during the attack. The suspect used a makeshift flamethrower and threw Molotov cocktails, according to reports, burning and injuring 12 people, some severely. 

I don’t know when I will be able to go back to Israel again, but I do know that I feel scared here. Targeting Jews will not free Palestine. This Shavuot is bittersweet because more than ever, I am proud to be part of a resilient community of people who, even when times get hard, can still see the good in life and appreciate and reflect on what we have left. 

Top image: Assistant Digital Editor Megan Naftali and her family celebrate Shavuot in Israel in May 2023.