Longtime Moment Advisory Board member Joan Scheuer died on Friday, December 27, 2024. She was 103 and a half. I attended her funeral and spoke at it. Here’s what I said, along with a short bio of Joan shared by the family.
I will miss Joan greatly. Over the years, Joan had become a big part of my life, a wise friend, a fellow artist and thinker, a mentor, a replacement parent, someone who saw me for who I am and who always encouraged me. By being who she was, she made me—and all of us—better people.
She was the rare person with whom you could completely be yourself. Who saw you for who you were. I know that I always felt loved and felt that I could do more for the world in her presence. That feeling lasted when I left to go on about my day.
And until very recently, she also made me a better editor and leader, regularly offering ideas for Moment. She took her work with Moment quite seriously. She read everything and thought about it. As Abe (her son-in-law Abe Sofaer) says, she understood the complexity of people and of issues, which Moment grapples with every day.
Even in her 90s, until COVID hit, she was always the first person to arrive at a NYC board meeting and usually the last to leave. After others had very expressively expressed their many opinions, Joan would weigh in calmly. Not a lot of words, Yoda-like! She had been quietly listening and thinking, and in her soft-spoken way, had wise advice.
She also always called or wrote me and asked me what she could do to help—even at age 103. She was incredibly generous.
Joan Scheuer with Moment Editor-in-Chief Nadine Epstein
In my most recent visits, we talked less about the world and more about art. We would look at piece of art and immerse ourselves in it. We connected through the lines and color and meaning, the feelings. The beauty.
We also talked about gratitude. She was very grateful for her life. She was very aware of the loving care she was receiving. Marian, Dan and Jonathan, she was grateful for your amazing care and attention.
We also sang together!
Joan was the inspiration for Moment’s Wisdom Project and I love this interview of her, conducted around her 101st birthday and excerpted here.
What have you learned over your lifetime that you think people at every stage of life can learn from?
To listen. L-I-S-T-E-N. You have to be aware of other people at all times. You come to value making an effort to not just listen, but hear other people. There’s no more misunderstanding now than there always was, but we’re still not making an effort to understand each other. We have to listen, we have to hear each other. Old people never have listened to young people enough. People in general don’t pay enough attention to each other. It takes effort to understand each individual. That’s why I’ve always been a big enthusiast of education in all its forms.
What role has gratitude played in your life?
Gratitude comes from recognizing the parts of your life that are happy, and I think that’s why I’m grateful for a lot of things. I recognize what’s made me happy. I recognize that I have been lucky.
What do you want to do for the rest of your life?
I’m going to face the next 100 years very optimistically! I’ve lived gracefully, and I also want to die that way.
Bio: Joan Gross Scheuer, 103, died on Dec. 27, 2024, in New York City. She was born there in 1921. Joan went to Ethical Culture Fieldston school. She was a Bryn Mawr College ’42 alumna, majored in economics and was editor of both the College News and the literary magazine. She worked at the War Labor Board setting wages and prices during WWII and then for a labor union in Chicago. She married the love of her life Richard Jonas Scheuer in 1946. While living in Larchmont, she and her sister Lynn Straus started an innovative preschool program “the Village Fours” which became a model for Head Start. Joan was a member of the Mamaroneck School Board and earned a PhD from NYU; her “Checkerboard Schools” paper analyzed how the inequities of the NYS school state aid formula disadvantaged certain communities. She worked with the Educational Priorities Panel and other civic organizations to increase funding for public schools. She was an avid sailor and accomplished artist who taught watercolor workshops and painted with her great-grandchildren. In her last decade, Joan was an active member of a senior community in Manhattan, leading book club sessions and watercolor workshops. Joan was admired and deeply loved by her children Rick Scheuer (d. 1996) (Sylvia), Marian Scheuer Sofaer (Abraham), Barbara (d.1952), Daniel Scheuer (Martha) and Jonathan Scheuer (Debra), her grandchildren, Ben, Adam and Simon Scheuer, Dan Sofaer (stepgrandson), Michael, Helen (Luke), Joseph (Faye), Aaron (Eleanor) and Raphael (Becca) Sofaer, Matthew and Alex Scheuer, and Hannah Scheuer, 13 great-grandchildren and one step great-grandaughter. Her friends and family will miss shared moments of laughter, her humanity and her warmth, her wit and her wisdom. And as one of you emailed me, her Thanksgiving dinners were epic.