Prove Your Comedy Chops with Moment’s Cartoon Caption Contest
Welcome to the Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest, founded with the help of New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff, and drawn by New Yorker cartoonist Ben Schwartz.
Do you have a way with words and humor? If so, look at the cartoon below and send us a caption—or two or three! Plus scroll down to vote for your favorite caption. It’s free and fun!
Winners may claim a free Moment subscription for a friend of family member. Contest open to U.S. residents 18 and above.
Plus: Read interviews with some of our most prolific caption contest contributors here.
Submit a caption for this cartoon by December 15 by writing it in as a comment at the bottom of this page!
Vote for your favorite caption by filling out the form immediately below!
“It’s always been a babe magnet and you’re living proof.”
— Stephen Nadler, Princeton, NJ
“Just tell your roommate it’s a vase.”
—Sarah Oaks, Radnor, PA
“Find us a daughter-in-law who knows what this is.”
—Michael Lomazow, Riverside, CA
Vote for your favorite! The winner will receive a free subscription to Moment to give to a friend. Any U.S. resident age 18 or older can enter.
Vote for your favorite caption
Chuckle at the Summer 2024 winning caption—and see who wrote it!
“You’re not impressing them with our suffering.”
—Stephen Nadler, Princeton, NJ
How to Submit Your Caption(s)
Submit as a comment below by October 20, 2024. Finalists will appear in the upcoming issue. To vote for the winner of the Summer 2024 contest (see finalists above), use the vote form.
Note: By submitting a caption, voting or leaving a reply, you are agreeing to receive Moment‘s award-winning newsletters.
“At your new home call us, and we will give blessings that you are far away!”
“Take this as a parting gift.”
“Remember,you want a rich girl.Good looks are secondary.”
“Find us a daughter in law who knows what this is.”
College separates women from the menorah.
One day you’ll inherit our alumni debt.
If you can’t send a letter, give us a call. If you can’t call, send an email. If you can’t email, send a text. If you can’t text, move back in.
…Yeah, move back in the DOG HOUSE! 🙂
“Call us at your new home, and we will give blessings now that you are far away!”
“Aren’t you glad you had a circumcision to lighten your load?”
“Take this menorah as a going away present, just never bring it back home!”
We’ll leave a light on for you.
Don’t do anything mom and I did.
Keep a zipper on your kippah.
“Now go out into the world and make a lot of gelt. I will need a future RETIREMENT LOAN with low interest!”
“Always remember your roots and what routes keep you away from dysfunctional MISHPOCHA!”
“Consider this your severance package.”
“Keep this as a reminder of our hope instead of eight days you last all four years here”.
“This is your severance package.”
“Our future Yiddish grandchildren are depending on your life’s journey!”
“Need I remind you that this is the third time you left home for good this month?”
“FAST FOOD is not necessarily good for you, but BAGEL-LOX-CREAM CHEESE is the exception!”
“Run along now….we’re anxious to start the empty nest grieving process.”
“If you miss home cooking, let us know and Mama will email you the recipes!”
October 20th cartoon.
Son, the military will be good for you.
Son, the Army will make you a man.
Son, this menorah will protect you from the shiksas
Just tell your roommate it’s a vase.
And on the 9th night, call your mother!
Craziest thing…we couldn’t find any lighters!
You were only supposed to stay for one night, but you stayed for eight
“And your Uncle Steve said the only way you could eventually get into Harvard would be if you donated your body to their Medical School.”
“When lost in the world, find yourself with a GPS gadget!”
At the very least, your dorm room may need a night light.
“You’ve been a great neighbor and we’ve grown to think of you as a son…..But not to the extent that we are willing to pay your college tuition!”
“Rember, it’s not the number of years it takes to graduate, it’s the number of years it takes to graduate while paying your own tuition.”
“Sending you to college has made us ‘Empty Nesters’, so we decided you might as well take the last piece of the nest with you.”
“On your darkest day, let the menorah shine so you can see better!”
“Light one for each year you’ll probably be there.”
“It took Rachel three; we’re not as hopeful this time.”
Remember what they say about the prodigal son always coming home.
“You can’t imagine how long one of us has looked forward to this day.”
This isn’t a candelabra, Liberace.
We appreciate your hand painted pottery, but we rented out your room.
“G-d helps those who help themselves. That’s why your parents are pushing you out of the house!”
“Don’t look back, don’t drive back, don’t walk back and if you need more money, don’t call back.”
“We know you don’t start college for two more years but the desire to be ‘Empty Nesters’ has become all consuming.”
“When the going gets tough, the tough get going! Goodbye, TOUGH GUY!”
” Your mom is right. This will attract more shikshas than my etchings ever did!”
“And don’t forget that no one in our family was ever in the Greek system.”
This will help you not burn the candle at both ends!
Not to give you a gelt trip, but please call each week!
And if you want hash, we’ll send latkes!
And take this if you need to fend off pro-Hamas protestors….
You can be Orthodox at home, but Reform in the dorm!
We won’t give you a lecture — that’s your professors’ job!
Just checking if you were assimilated enough not to catch the 2 missing branches.
“Oy. The price of oil forced us to Kness it.”
“Even if everyone else lights one little candle, you got med school.”
“Keep the faith! After all, your name is Moses Israel!”
“The good news is that we invested your inheritance in a high-interest fund.
The bad news is Bernie Madoff managed the fund!”
Thought we had money for just 1 semester’s tuition, but it will last for 8!
“You have two choices as a young adult in our home. AGREE to leave or AGREE not to stay here!”
“Because we know you’ll be burning the midnight oil…”
“Bubbe said she owes you a kiss along with this menorah, so keep using your CHAP STICK in preparation!”
“It’s always been a babe magnet and you’re living proof.”
“Just set it in any window that’s bulletproof.”
“It might come in handy in these dark times.”
“Keep this as a reminder of our hope instead of eight days you last all four years here”.
“Guess what we found in the bookstore?”
“With this menorah, pray that the next politicians protect your parents’ Social Security & Medicare!”
“Pick the Jewish teachers at college. Perhaps with the menorah, they will pray with you to pass their courses!”
“Take your studies seriously… we’re not sending you to the University to biddy biddy bum all day long!”
This may be a bit more obvious where I borrowed this from:
Caption:
“G-d knows I’m not a ‘Rich Man’ and we’re not sending you off to college to biddy biddy bum all day long!”
“G-d knows I’m not a ‘Rich Man’ and we’re not sending you to college to biddy biddy bum all day long!”
“You and this menorah require a spark to function. Just try not to get BURNT OUT in the process!”
“We know you have two years of high school left but the money we get from renting your room will help with tuition cost when you start College.”
“Alec, with the menorah, you can pray that you will become a SMART ALEC!”
“The U.S. (in January) will become an Autocratic Society; So we have decided to send you out of the country forever.”
SAD DAY FOR DEMOCRACY!
These are the times that try men’s “soles”. (You may need new shoes on your journey!)
Submission Caption for next Cartoon before it is posted.
Caption:
“Would it kill you just once to bring a few bagels with cream cheese.”
NEW CARTOON:
“It’s all downhill from here to Hanukkah!”
“This is one time Moshe uses his butt instead of his brains!”
“Jamaican I’m not.”
“Next I’ll test a toasted bagel.”
“The kichel was 3mph slower.”
“Don’t snowball me, I’ll surrender as soon as I reach the bottom!”
“Look everybody, no hands and no brakes!”
“I’m the king of the world.”
“I’m the real wandering Jew.”
“It may be cold as hell, but I’m in heaven!”
“Tell them I am CHILLING OUT if anybody is looking for me!”
“Sharp left turn coming.”
“I won by this much.”
“I’m freezing my ass off.”
“I’m not a BADASS, but I’m a SORRY ASS!”
“I’m practicing snowboarding for the future Olympics. I must disguise my donut/bagel sled to be entered!”
“Next time I’m taking the bialy.”
“My favorite animated movie is FROZEN. My body temperature will soon be FROZEN TOO!”
“It’s truly an Everything bagel!”
“Kosher doesn’t apply when you don’t eat it.”
“And it’s a snack when I get tired!”
“Good lox trying to beat me!”
“You guys have any cream cheese?”
“I’m not a turkey, but I act like one for the MOMENT!”
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
“In case of an emergency, call my doctor and tell him I am SLIP/SLIDING AWAY!”
“Yippee Ka Yay,my friends.”
“Yippee Ki Yay,my friends.”
“I could have been a contender, but an unexpected avalanche has buried my plans!”
“It’s an inner tube with marketing.”
“I bagel-ly remember the last time I had this much fun.”
“A giant bagel sled, school is out, and snow is forecast for the next three days. How could get any better than this?”
(Opps! Left the word ‘life’ out of my above caption.)
“A giant bagel sled, school is out, and snow is forecast for the next three days! How could life get any better than this?”
“You can catch a cold or a snow drift, ‘weather’ you like it or not!”
“Yes, it’s this big!” (I was referring to my ego, you naughty people!)
“Next week Jerusalem.”
“I believe I can fly.”
“I’m faster than a speeding bullet.”
“I love Jewish bagel sleds with big holes. The HOLIER the better!”