Cartoon Caption Contest

Prove Your Comedy Chops with Moment’s Cartoon Caption Contest

 

Welcome to the Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest, founded with the help of New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff, and drawn by New Yorker cartoonist Ben Schwartz.

 

Do you have a way with words and humor? If so, look at the cartoon below and send us a caption—or two or three! Plus scroll down to vote for your favorite caption. It’s free and fun!

 

Winners may claim a free Moment subscription for a friend of family member. Contest open to U.S. residents 18 and above.

 

Plus: Read interviews with some of our most prolific caption contest contributors here.

 

 

Submit a caption for this cartoon by September 30 by writing it in as a comment at the bottom of this page!

 

Vote for your favorite caption by filling out the form immediately below!

 

When the sea didn’t part, Moses got creative!
—Jonathan A. Mayer, Miami Beach, FL


“If we hurry we can catch the ark!”
—Susan Rosati, Blackwood, NJ


“I’m a hard act to swallow.”
—Dale Stout, Colorado Springs, CO

 

Vote For Your Favorite Cartoon Caption

Vote for the winner of the September/October contest! The winner will receive a free subscription to Moment to give to a friend. Any U.S. resident age 18 or older can enter.

 

Chuckle at the March/April 2019 winning caption—and see who wrote it!

“Hello service desk, my inbox is flooded again”
—Justin Gray, Findlay, OH

 

How to Submit Your Caption(s)

Submit as a comment below by September 30, 2019. Finalists will appear in the upcoming issue. To vote for the winner of the summer issue 2019 contest (see finalists above), use the vote form.

114 Comments
  • Marvin Sager 11:56h, 03 September Reply

    FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Prepare for the Presidential election of 2020 as a big UN-Holy event!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:31h, 03 September Reply

    Does anyone remember Bobby Darin, that brash but talented singer-songwriter-actor of the 1950’s and 60’s? He once said (and this is from memory) that Shakespeare was a genius but that he too had to be a genius to be able to recognize that quality in the playwright. Well, in the same vein, let me pat myself on the back for having the perception to recognize Dale Stout’s “I’m a hard act to swallow” when it was first posted. Of course, to give credit where’s it’s due, Jim Gorman also recognized the cleverness of the caption. He, too, is entitled to pat himself on the back and call himself a genius.

    Now if we could only predict the stock market … 🙂

    • Dale Stout 00:48h, 05 September Reply

      Gerald, you’re too kind.

  • jim gorman 04:44h, 04 September Reply

    “If you don’t like stop using the word ‘like’ after every word you like use I’m gonna have to like throw you off this like cloud!”

  • Marvin Sager 12:07h, 04 September Reply

    We’re not on Cloud #9 feasting, but we are on Clouds #1 & #2 stuffing our faces!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:53h, 04 September Reply

    Jim, ironically , if your satiric contribution were sent to Facebook, it would generate THOUSANDS of likes.

    Likes are now used not only by teenagers in their slang but to measure popularity and importance.

    If Dean Martin were singing today, the words of his signature song would now be “You’re Nobody Till Somebody LIKES You.” 🙂

    • jim gorman 17:45h, 05 September Reply

      Very preceptive Gerald. A cartoonist forgetting to sign art isn’t likely. I wonder what is going on here?

      • jim gorman 19:55h, 05 September Reply

        Attached this to the wrong comment. Should have been the one below.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 18:01h, 04 September Reply

    “My child, the major lesson for you to learn is that G-d alone is the source of all creativity in the universe. That is why, for the first time ever, Dr.Ben Schwartz did not want to put his name on the cartoon.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 18:12h, 04 September Reply

    “We are fortunate in being able to make use of all the knowledge stored in the cloud.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 20:44h, 04 September Reply

    “Heaven is the place where the things you truly love are neither illegal, immoral, nor fattening.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 20:50h, 04 September Reply

    “Forget about cholesterol. That’s a word they torture themselves with only in the lower regions.”

  • Marvin Sager 21:14h, 04 September Reply

    “Pray tell, do you eat to live, or live to eat?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 22:45h, 04 September Reply

    Marvin, there’s a third choice. How about living to pray, pray tell?

  • Dale Stout 00:51h, 05 September Reply

    Oh Thank Heaven for 7-Eleven.

  • Dale Stout 00:54h, 05 September Reply

    I can’t believe Reagan called ketchup a vegetable.

  • Dale Stout 00:56h, 05 September Reply

    If you eat that J-e-l-l-o, you’ll go straight to H-e-l-l-o.

  • D Rokach 09:25h, 05 September Reply

    “Manna tastes better.”

  • Rich Wolf 09:54h, 05 September Reply

    “I’ll trade you my Angel’s Food cake for your Devil Dog.”

  • JR 10:21h, 05 September Reply

    “You make the blessing first on food, then on drink.”

  • Rich Wolf 10:51h, 05 September Reply

    “God knows what you’re eating, my son.”

  • Marvin Sager 15:30h, 05 September Reply

    God packs an “almighty punch” ( when non-alcoholic drinks are involved ).

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:06h, 05 September Reply

    “Based on my long experience, I can tell you that Cherry Coca-Cola is the most delicious soft drink.

  • Marvin Sager 20:04h, 05 September Reply

    The food tastes heavenly, but the ambiance needs improvement.

  • Stephen Nadler 21:17h, 05 September Reply

    “What in Creation is that?”

  • Stephen Nadler 21:20h, 05 September Reply

    “I’ll take the Impossible Burger.”

  • olive petty 21:31h, 05 September Reply

    I’ll trade you gushers, and apples for your crackers and cheese.

  • Stephen Nadler 21:37h, 05 September Reply

    “Go back to the old caterer.”

  • Stephen Nadler 21:46h, 05 September Reply

    “I could use the Halo Top.”

  • Stephen Nadler 21:52h, 05 September Reply

    “How do you like Manna 2.0?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 22:15h, 05 September Reply

    Jim, there’s no one around who knows more about cartoons and cartoonists than our own Stephen Nadler. His own website is masterfully curated. So if he chose to conjecture why Ben Schwartz neglected to sign the new cartoon, I’d love to read his take.

    By the way, thanks for YOUR always great contributions. They’re much appreciated, believe me.

  • Rob Huffman 11:40h, 06 September Reply

    “Would you like a Jew’s box?”

    • Rich Wolf 14:26h, 09 September Reply

      Rob, c’mon man! A pun?? 🙂

  • Marvin Sager 13:20h, 06 September Reply

    GOD speaking to Angel (cartoon): If you complain about the food (or this cartoon), then I will change you into ANGEL DUST!
    +++
    Dedicated to Gerald Lebowitz.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 14:52h, 06 September Reply

    Marvin and Jim,

    Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were in the middle of a trip and found themselves camped for the night in a large field. At three o’clock in the morning, Holmes suddenly awakened Watson. “Look up, Watson, what do you see?” he asked.

    “A sky blanketed with stars,” Holmes replied.

    “And what does that show you?” Holmes persisted.

    Holmes thought. “It shows me that the whole universe, everything included, is comprised of cosmic dust, that we are part of all that there is and that …”

    Holmes interrupted impatiently. “Idiot!” he yelled. “It shows us that someone has stolen our tent!”

    What the anecdote does show us is that we sometimes waste our time looking for complicated explanations when a simple one would suffice.

    Perhaps the real reason Ben Schwartz didn’t sign his cartoon–don’t bother to think and think or drive yourself to drink—is that he simply ran out of ink. 🙂

    • Marvin Sager 16:32h, 06 September Reply

      Gerald,
      That’s what I consider having an “inkling” of an “inky” situation.:)

  • Gerald Lebowitz 22:50h, 06 September Reply

    Marvin,

    Wasn’t it a famous philosopher who once said, “I ink, therefore I am”?

    Or is that putting Descartes before the horse?

    (Sorry. Dale has just collapsed from shock due to the worst pun he ever heard. When he recovers, there’s no telling what he might do. I’m going into hiding.)

    • jim gorman 00:07h, 07 September Reply

      Old joke: Descartes walks into a bar and orders a drink.
      Bar tender “closing time but how about one for the road?”
      Descartes says “I think not” and disappears:

    • Dale Stout 22:03h, 08 September Reply

      That gives me a ‘thinkling’. :^)

  • Gerald Lebowitz 13:19h, 07 September Reply

    If I were Descartes:

    “I think, therefore I am. At least I THINK so.”

  • Marvin Sager 15:27h, 07 September Reply

    Then there’s the case where God watches outer space and comments, “There you are Marshal Applewhite, with your 38 followers in a spacecraft (UFO) following Halley’s Comet. If you weren’t so content, then I would invite you to lunch.” (Even God has his “outer limits!”)

  • Adrian Storisteanu 15:28h, 07 September Reply

    “Boychick, cloud technology is nothing new.”

    OR

    “Boychick, one of my earliest projects was cloud technology.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 15:19h, 08 September Reply

    A chicken and a pig were best friends and were walking down a country road. Suddenly they came upon a restaurant. “I’m hungry,” said the chicken. “Let’s go in.”

    “No! exclaimed the pig. “Look at the menu. Their specialty is ham and eggs.”

    “So what?” asked the chicken.

    “So what?

    “From you they just want a contribution; but from me they want complete surrender!”

    (Told by Ram Dass, about whom a film, “Becoming Nobody,” has just been released. Dinah, I wish you could review films too.)

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:02h, 08 September Reply

    “I once had a lot of money, but I lost it all betting on Hillary in the last election”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 20:16h, 08 September Reply

    “Heaven is the sweetest place of all , but you can still develop low blood sugar here and need a quick pick-me-up.”

  • Marvin Sager 20:57h, 08 September Reply

    Led Zeppelin wrote the song “A Stairway To Heaven.” Personally, I would rather ride something like the Tower of Terror to reach heaven. After all, getting to heaven should be a thrill ride!

  • Dale Stout 22:01h, 08 September Reply

    You can skip the artificial colors, flavoring and preservatives.

  • Dale Stout 22:07h, 08 September Reply

    I was cool before there was Kool-Aid.

  • Dale Stout 22:09h, 08 September Reply

    It’s no more fasting and no more fast foods.

  • Stephen Nadler 22:55h, 08 September Reply

    “Give me your lunch and earn your other wing.”

  • Marvin Sager 11:32h, 09 September Reply

    The Devil’s Diet: Eat your heart-out then die.
    +++
    The Military Diet: Take what food you want, but eat all that you take.
    +++
    The Angel’s Diet: Nothing is too good for you to eat.
    +++
    The “Apple” Diet: Google it before you consume it.
    +++
    My Diet (Marvin’s Diet): Pray that you can afford to eat, or that you are invited-out by others to eat.

  • Rich Wolf 14:28h, 09 September Reply

    “Don’t worry son, you drank the Kool-Aid a long time ago.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:06h, 09 September Reply

    Marvin,

    (1) My version of the Military Diet: Take what food you want, but shake a lot of salt into it before you taste.

    (2) Here’s a challenge for you: A solipsist is a person who proclaims that he/she alone exists, that everything else in the universe is his/her mental projection. How would you refute the solipsist? Think about it and then see below.

    #######

    Possible answer: Arrange a convention of solipsists, then let them fight it out to determine which one is the real one. (If anyone can propose a better solution, submit it here. You might win a no-prize– to be delivered in no time.)

    • Marvin Sager 20:15h, 09 September Reply

      Gerald,
      A solipsist doesn’t think I exist. So, why should I discuss or argue with him/her? What interest would he have in talking to me?

  • Adrian Storisteanu 16:45h, 09 September Reply

    “They were all upgraded to silver lining.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:52h, 09 September Reply

    “I’ll trade you my bog of potato chips for your peanut butter sandwich.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 16:54h, 09 September Reply

    “They just fluffed them for Rosh Hashana.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:02h, 09 September Reply

    Oops–forgive the typo. Nobody would want a BOG of potato chips. They’d be disgustingly damp and spongy. But a BAG? Well, that might be a viable trade.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 20:39h, 09 September Reply

    “They tell me that your angel food cake is to die for.”

  • Rob Huffman 21:13h, 09 September Reply

    Ask a blessing? Why?

  • Rob Huffman 21:14h, 09 September Reply

    Kid, someday all of this will still be His.

  • Rob Huffman 21:15h, 09 September Reply

    Finally I can eat pork.

  • Rob Huffman 21:17h, 09 September Reply

    I imagined a long feasting table. But bag lunches?

  • Stephen Nadler 01:50h, 10 September Reply

    “Here we just don’t say ‘better than sex.'”

    • Adrian Storisteanu 16:24h, 12 September Reply

      “I meant to say ‘better than lox’.”

  • Marvin Sager 10:00h, 10 September Reply

    The Pearly Gates of Heaven needs a wall. Not to prohibit the poor souls from entering, but to prohibit the righteous souls inside from leaving. All humans are not perfect, and maybe tempted by the “dark side.” Just ask the combatants of Star Wars that encounter all kinds of situations. Let us pray for the soul of Darth Vader!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 20:41h, 10 September Reply

    Dale,

    Just saw your September 5 entry, “If you eat that J-e-l-l-o, you’ll go straight to H-e-l-l-o.” I guess great minds think alike. In the 1940’s, after Lucky Strike, Jello became the sponsor of Jack Benny’s wildly popular Sunday evening radio program. Jack’s introduction to every show was “Jello again, this is Jack Benny.”

    Maybe we were both born at the wrong time, although you would be successful at any time. You certainly always light up this site.

    By the way, I can’t end this mention of old-time radio without giving you my definition of a true intellectual. A true intellectual is any person who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking once about the Lone Ranger.

    Thanks for everything, Dale.

  • Stephen Nadler 00:28h, 11 September Reply

    “You’re hiding something in that bag. Is there a cheeseburger in paradise?”

  • Marvin Sager 13:26h, 11 September Reply

    “There is one thing for sure. We don’t need to dress-up to eat these tidbits!”

  • Stephen Nadler 20:52h, 11 September Reply

    “Like WHOSE mother used to make?”

  • Marvin Sager 11:22h, 12 September Reply

    “Remember, our morsels are PRICEless (than down on earth)!”

  • Tim Collins 11:36h, 12 September Reply

    “You’re gonna love Fridays! Ever have manna pizza?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 11:46h, 12 September Reply

    “I know this isn’t what you expected, but there’s an economic downturn in Heaven and we all have to tighten our belts.”

  • Marvin Sager 13:50h, 12 September Reply

    “Being a GUARDian angel, you need to make sure none of my food is missing!”

  • Stephen Nadler 20:32h, 12 September Reply

    “This reminds me of one of those Moment cartoons by what’s-his-name.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:17h, 12 September Reply

    “What happened was that President Trump finally got rid of the Federal Reserve. All its employees came here. The first thing they did was raise interest rates. Now, believe it or not, we in Heaven have to tighten our belts.”

  • Marvin Sager 08:31h, 13 September Reply

    “They loved me so much on earth that they named a dinosaur after me, GODZILLA!”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 10:02h, 13 September Reply

    “There is no devil’s food cake. We no longer do imports.”

  • Marvin Sager 13:25h, 13 September Reply

    (Eddie Money wrote the song, “Two Tickets To Paradise.”) “I’m sorry that you died Eddie, but the good news is that your ticket will be validated when you arrive in heaven (paradise). The bad news is that there is no refund on the second ticket!”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 15:14h, 13 September Reply

    Tossing humor back and forth is like playing in a good pickup basketball game. Here’s a case in point:

    Marvin took the ball started with Descartes and ran with “ink” from “think.” The other day I picked up a remarkable book, “Rethinking Consciousness,” by neuroscientist and psychologist Michael S. A. Graziano and was startled to read that “Octopuses are the superstars of the invertebrates because of their astonishing intelligence … with a complex brain and sophisticated behavior and an astonishing nervous system.” An octopus “can use tools, solve problems and show unexpected creativity. In a now-classic demonstration, octopuses can learn to open a glass jar by unscrewing the top in order to get a tasty morsel within.”

    And what does this most intelligent organism use as a very effective defense system? That’s right, ink! It knows that the pen is mightier than the sword, so it literally becomes a pen and squirts the ink at predators.

    Descartes, take note!

    (Thanks, Marvin, as always.)

  • Gerald Lebowitz 23:20h, 13 September Reply

    “I’ll trade you one wing for Ben Schwartz’s signature.”

  • Marvin Sager 09:27h, 14 September Reply

    Tree of Heaven (genus Ailanthus): Yes, that’s right. It is a native tree mainly in China and is found in the United States. In China, the tree has a special reputation, but in the United States, it has a very dubious reputation. The tree was presented to the people of Townsend, Washington state as an offering of friendship around the1860s. The crew on the Chinese ship thought that the people living in Washington state desired this gift for their respectful kindness to the Chinese people. The tree planted in the middle of Townsend lasted until 1997. I felt privileged to view this tree many years ago. It was chained off with a plaque giving the history. An important lesson here is that we need to understand a foreign country by their standards and not just our standards. Thus, we must strive to improve our education and knowledge to make this a better world!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 20:45h, 14 September Reply

    “I’ll give you a wing if you give me a prayer.”

  • Stephen Nadler 20:47h, 14 September Reply

    “Are you sure the K isn’t for KFC?”

    • Marvin Sager 13:30h, 15 September Reply

      Maybe the K is for a King Kong appetite.

  • Larry Lesser 00:22h, 15 September Reply

    More people should come to my lunch ‘n’ learn brown bag!

  • Larry Lesser 00:23h, 15 September Reply

    Food is heavenly here ’cause manna tastes like whatever you want.

  • Marvin Sager 13:01h, 15 September Reply

    “Who cares about the mundane food? Where is my wine? Even the Pope approves of wine!”

  • Stephen Nadler 17:21h, 15 September Reply

    “They may be kosher but I think wings are in poor taste.”

  • Marvin Sager 19:03h, 15 September Reply

    “What price shall I pay for indigestion – bad food or this boring conversation?” 🙁

  • Dale Stout 05:38h, 16 September Reply

    Watch the carbs.

  • Dale Stout 05:39h, 16 September Reply

    You can eat all you want, but want all you eat.

  • Dale Stout 06:05h, 16 September Reply

    That’s not what I meant by “Preserve the Saints.”

  • Dale Stout 06:08h, 16 September Reply

    I expected more than “Good food, Good meat, Thank God, Let’s eat.”

  • Dale Stout 06:28h, 16 September Reply

    You looked like you could use a little company.

  • Marvin Sager 11:32h, 16 September Reply

    “I love all animals, so I will pass on eating Animal Crackers!”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:40h, 16 September Reply

    “In the previous cartoon I was just getting out of a whale with my sunglasses on. I thought I was OK, but I guess I didn’t survive.”

  • Stephen Nadler 00:18h, 17 September Reply

    “Even up here we have ground rules.”

  • Marvin Sager 10:58h, 17 September Reply

    “Who gave away my secrets that I am baldheaded and wear sandals?”
    +++
    In my opinion, this has something to do with an INK SMEAR!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 18:19h, 17 September Reply

    From “Talking to Strangers” by Malcolm Gladwell:

    “Poets die young. That is not just a cliche. The life expectancy of poets, as a group, trails playwrights, novelists, and non-fiction writers by a considerable margin. They have higher rates of emotional disorders than actors, musicians, composers, and novelists. And of every occupational category, poets have far and away the highest suicide rates–as much as five times higher than the general population. Something about writing poetry appears either to attract the wounded or to open new wounds….”

    Gladwell, thankfully, does not mention cartoonists in his list, particularly New Yorker cartoonists like Ben Schwartz. May our muse live long and prosper and sign his cartoons for at least the next half-century, and may we all be around to celebrate Al Jaffee’s 0ne-hundreth birthday on March 13, 2010. 🙂

  • Gerald Lebowitz 18:23h, 17 September Reply

    Oops, I meant March 13, 2020.

    But you all knew that, didn’t you?

  • Gerald Lebowitz 18:55h, 17 September Reply

    You couldn’t have known that. He’ll be 100 on March 13, 2021.

    (Next time Marvin offers me a drink before I write something, I’m going to respectfully decline.)

    • Marvin Sager 20:15h, 17 September Reply

      Gerald,
      You are always “drunk” with passion! Keep-up the HIGH SPIRITED editorials!

  • Stephen Nadler 21:20h, 17 September Reply

    “Would it kill them to serve kasha?”

  • Marvin Sager 06:19h, 18 September Reply

    “Sorry, but it takes more than ANGELIC prayers to become MISS UNIVERSE!”

  • Dale Stout 08:37h, 18 September Reply

    With a name like Smuckers it has to be good.

  • Dale Stout 08:47h, 18 September Reply

    Forget this, get me a pastrami on rye.

  • Dale Stout 08:47h, 18 September Reply

    Don’t we have a Jewish deli?

  • Dale Stout 08:52h, 18 September Reply

    I’ll trade you a forbidden fruit roll-up.

  • Dale Stout 08:54h, 18 September Reply

    I like my fruit cocktails with a kick.

  • Dale Stout 09:00h, 18 September Reply

    Next time pray bigger.

  • Marvin Sager 15:21h, 18 September Reply

    “I’m not eating anything that has ANGEL HAIR in my PASTA!”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 20:24h, 18 September Reply

    Marvin, if I were an ordinary shadchen (matchmaker), I’d say, “Have I got a girl for you!”

    But I’m a literary matchmaker. I fix people up with books I think they’d enjoy. So I say to you, “Have I got a BOOK for you!”

    In a way, I do what Dinah does, only in a less formal way.

    Based on your obvious kinship with nature, I strongly recommend “The Hidden Life of Trees: What They Feel, How They Communicate: Discoveries from a Secret World.” The author is not a New Ager like Deepak Chopra, from whom you’d expect a book like this, but from a seasoned forester who stays close to the facts. He tells how trees nurture each other and communicate and are part of a lively ecosystem. His name is Peter Wohileben.

    If I recommended a girl and you got married and had a nasty split, she could sue you: you might have to spend a fortune on divorce lawyers.

    But if you don’t like a book, all you have to do is return the book to the library. And any brain-children you get as a result of your reading are yours. You never have to pay child support.

    It’s a remarkable book, well worth reading!

    Thanks for all YOUR support!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:33h, 18 September Reply

    “And then I turned the full force of my personality on Abraham and told him that he had to sacrifice his only son, Isaac, and then–badda boom–you shoulda seen the expression on that guy’s face.”

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