Prove Your Comedy Chops with Moment’s Cartoon Caption Contest
Welcome to the Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest, founded with the help of New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff, and drawn by New Yorker cartoonist Ben Schwartz.
Do you have a way with words and humor? If so, look at the cartoon below and send us a caption—or two or three! Plus scroll down to vote for your favorite caption. It’s free and fun!
Winners may claim a free Moment subscription for a friend of family member. Contest open to U.S. residents 18 and above.
Plus: Read interviews with some of our most prolific caption contest contributors here.
Submit a caption for this cartoon by November 30 by writing it in as a comment at the bottom of this page!
Vote for your favorite caption by filling out the form immediately below!
“I’ll give you a wing if you give me a prayer.”
—Gerald Lebowitz, New York, NY
“Oh thank heaven for 7-Eleven.”
—Dale Stout, Colorado Springs, CO
“God knows what you’re eating, my son.”
—Rich Wolf, Westminster, MD
“There is no devil’s food cake. We no longer do imports.”
—Adrian Storisteanu, Toronto, ON, Canada
Chuckle at the Summer 2019 winning caption—and see who wrote it!
“If we hurry we can catch the ark!”
—Susan Rosati, Blackwood, NJ
How to Submit Your Caption(s)
Submit as a comment below by November 30, 2019. Finalists will appear in the upcoming issue. To vote for the winner of the September/October 2019 contest (see finalists above), use the vote form.
“I’m the product of a mixed marriage, as you can see.”
“Only half of me believes in you.”
Hannukah-ome on, Nick! We’ve got eight nights to get all the gifts delivered – can’t we just play reindeer games tonight?
*Hanukkah
I bet you spell your name Molly Legoland (by mistake). 🙂
“You’ve never met a schizophrenic deer before?”
“My Menorah Antler is called a 9 POINTER during HUNTING SEASON!”
“Do I need a KIPPAH and a SANTA COAT?”
“My father, Rudolph, married a Jewish girl, so my light comes from my head instead of from my nose. I’ll be able to guide your sleigh just fine.”
“My father, Rudolph, married a Jewish girl, so my light comes from my head instead of from my nose. I’ll be able to take his place and guide your sleigh just fine.”
“Actually it is not Blitzen, it’s Blintze.”
I just logged on to write mine, but it seems you beat me to it lol. I was gonna do: “No, I get that it’s cute, but don’t you think Blintzen is a bit on the nose?”
: – )
“I’m multitasking.”
“Well, you know, a day here, eight days there…”
OR
“Well, you know how it is, a day here, eight days there…”
“As long as it doesn’t fall on a Shabbos.”
“The rabbi told me he needs a shofar, but at this time of the year?”
Uh oh!!!
Or, perhaps
“Oy!!”
?! : – )
“My parents met on Match.com.”
“My name is Dreidel. Can I take you out for a spin on Hanukkah?”
“I’ve already got a gig and it’s for eight nights.”
“You’ve never seen a candelabra before?”
“We Jews have always gotten into the spirit of Christmas, contributing such songs as ‘Deck the Halls with Boughs of Chola.’ It’s a wonderful chola day.”
“I don’t know how it happened, but last week I woke up and found that my antlers had turned into a menorah.”
“You were expecting maybe Bambi?”
“Do you like my new Hannukah antlers?”
“I’m applying for the position of sleigh guide which you advertised in this week’s edition of the Jewish Press.”
“Just don’t BUCK ME the wrong way!”
“When it comes to the holiday season, I’m just another BUCK in the HEADLIGHTS!”
Don’t buck with me. ;^)
I often get that deer in the head lights look.
“I was born to be wild—not a HOLIDAY TROPHY!”
Me Norah, you Santa.
Can you sing Santa Lucia?
Are you Arthur Fiedler on the Roof?
It’s part of the Establishment Claus.
Jewish you a Merry Christmas and a Hanukkah New Year.
Gotta a light?
And YOU’RE making fun of MY hat?
Yes on the split hoof but nope, never chewed my cud.
I heard someone needed me to sleigh Goliath.
“I’ll help you, but we never had this conversation.”
“If you light them, we’ll have high beams.”
“All of the other goys and boys are laughing and calling me names.”
“My Rabbi said I am a blessing to the DEAR Hanukkah population!
“My favorite movie was not Bambi, but I did enjoy FIDDLER ON THE HOOF!”
Dale, a very funny pun, but, actually, wouldn’t he be Fiedler on the HOOF?
(Actually, Arthur Fiedler himself was full of joy, a man with a twinkle in his eye who loved life, always able to laugh at himself. He would’ve laughed the loudest if he could have read your marvelous play on his name. Nobody has ever really been able to take his place.)
Gerald, Fiedler on the Hoof is good. Arthur Fiedler was a great fun person. I like it.
And Marvin!
And Dale also! (You need to have your name included at all times!) THANKS! :>)
Sorry, Marvin, I hadn’t seen your response when I wrote mine. Great minds think alike, I guess, and I can’t think of a greater mind than yours. (I’m not kidding.)
Next time I will wait longer to add my best entries to give you a fair chance to jump ahead of me. This way I have an excuse when I put forth SECOND RATE ENTRIES! I always truly admire your kind words to me and others. Keep up the good work! THANKS!
“NOW you’re telling me I’ve other religions to cover too?”
I often get that deer in my head lights look.
“It’s my side-hustle.”
“Reindeer’s gotta eat everyday.”
I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to circumcised!
I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to be circumcised!
So a job’s a job, right? When you see our tree, you don’t tell Bambi what I’ve got on my head, and when I’m through flying you around. I won’t tell the elves that your tzitzis are tucked into the red gotkes.
Do I look like a Rudolf?
I don’t know either. I got lost in Flatbush looking for water, fell into a mikkvah, and came out like this.
I don’t know either. I got lost in Flatbush, fell into a mikveh, and came out like this.
“My menorah uses a special oil that lasts till Purim.”
Oils well that ends well ;^)
“Because a red nose won’t last as long.”
Sorry, but the Jewish reindeer all have to work on Christmas Day!
Why is this reindeer different from all other reindeers?
Now I’m below the horns of a dilemma.
Because it gives me that Special Glow.
“It’s not a miracle. I borrowed one of your elves.”
“I need to find the Little Match Girl.”
“Do you need a ride to the Kwanzaa party?”
I always wanted to mingle with Kris Kringle.
Don’t menschon it.
Muzzle tov.
I have a muzzle that loves to nuzzle.
Does this ring a bell?
Not the Liberty Bell, but it does “crack” me up! :>)
Reindeer cartoon:
I’ll deliver to the Jewish kids, you cover the rest.
Moonlighting again, Rudolph?
“Sorry, Santa, you’ll have to do without me this year!”
Per our union contract and just a reminder: I put in for 8 days off in late December this year.
I converted.
Latkes or fruitcake?
Latkes won…..
Sorry Santa; the role of Tevye has already been taken….
Only red and green? We need things in blue and white this year.
When I learned that Gal Gadot was Jewish, I switched….
“We’ll be good for eight nights.”
“Helping you out is definitely not kosher.”
Sorry, boss, gotta go. I smell latkes, I’m scared to fly, and don’t wanna go down in flames!
OR
Gotta light?
Rudolph only has to work one night a year and I have to work eight?
Aleph the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names.
No Nicky, it is not a passing phase; I’ve read the Talmud and did Birthright Israel.
No Nick, you may not get an alleyah at my Bar Mitzvah!
Stop questioning my decision to convert; it was Madonna who introduced me to the Kabbalah!
“What’s nu?”
Dale, what a string of gems! I feel like the patron (played by Carl Reiner’s late wife, Estelle) in the famous restaurant scene in “When Harry Met Sally” who, after Meg Ryan’s faked orgasm, says, “I’ll have what she’s having.”
In the same spirit, whatever you’re on that allows you to create such delicious comedy, I want some, too!
Nick, why do you keep asking me if venison is kosher?
The 9 candles of my Hanukiah will surely light the way to help you give joy to kids
“My mother always said that I was the light of her life.”
Sorry Nick,
I’ve lived in Crown Heights, Borough Park, Williamsburg too.
I’M A JEW!
“”My Christmas song request is, ‘ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MY TWO BUCK TEETH!”‘
“My favorite liquor is, ‘TWO BUCK CHUCK!”‘
I thought with stagflation, it was three buck chuck!
“After the Bris my Mohl said, ‘Congratulations on STAGgering around!”‘
“Instead of delivering packages to others, I prefer to keep them for myself. That’s why I am a STINGY BEAST OF BURDEN!”
C’mon — nine candles will give you a heckuva lot more light than one shiny nose.
I have tried to be thinner.
But I love Shabbos dinner.
And the fish I eat on erev Christmas is
Gefilte!
Sorry Nick, hot cross buns are out!!
“Rudolph has the flu.”
Does that mean he is FLU-ENT in YIDDISH?
“I was recommended to you for the job of sleigh guide by the Center for Jewish-Christian Understanding.”
There won’t be any roast beast this year, just roasted beets.
Dale, c’mon, really? STAG flation? That pun would de-flate anybody.
(Yet sometimes something is SO bad that it turns out to be SO good. 🙂
How can we be out of candles? Thats ridiculous!
There was nothing I could do, Rabbi took me back to his workshop with care
Who did this to you?! Men or uhh…?
Sorry Santa, but evolution just happens how it does, there’s nothing I can do.
Yeah, I can’t fly this time, it’s a leap year.
Please don’t take it personally
“Who cares which holiday I celebrate as long as I light it up?”
Where have you been hiding Cupid and Vixen?
You sir, are my prisoner.
I’m on the Naughty Liszt?
Dale,
Is this about you, or is this your entry? :)
Happy Holidaze?
“I have one spot on my menorah for each of your reindeer. And the top spot belongs to Rudolph because he is always ahead of the pack by a NOSE.”
“I’m interested in a menage-a-trois with Donna and BLINTZES.”
“Do you have eight reindeer so that each one corresponds to a different night of Hanukkah?”
“This time of year, I don’t plan to freeze my ASS off, because I’m a different kind of animal!”
“Last year at this time, I was attacked by Mrs. BEAR CLAUS!”
“I might not be Rudolph but I’m free on Christmas Eve.”
I might not be Rudolph but I’m free on Christmas Eve.”
“I just found out my mom was Jewish.”
“What I want for Christmas, Santa, is a nice Jewish boy who’s horny in spite of shedding his antlers.”
“Santa, don’t look at me with those HUNGRY EYES!”
“As part of my contract, I’m listed as spaced out BUCK ROGERS on a Jewish mission to mate among GOD’S CHOSEN ANIMALS!”
I though it might be a good idea to be inclusive when we visit mixed-marriage homes.
It goes like this, Nick:
“Maw oh tzur yi shoe oh tsee….”
Marvin, re your November 2 post, which was listed out of order: none of your entries are ever second rate.
Robert Diamant, you’re very funny; have you ever tried writing light verse? (See Ogden Nash, for example; you could do that. But unfortunately the market for funny poems is very small. 🙂 )
Thank you so much. I try to incorporate humor in anything I write. I have had some articles published in the Staten Island Advance and 4 Haikus were published in The NY Times book on NYC Haikus.
Ok, I’ll be on your sled team but you’ll have to feed me with jelly donuts and latkes.”
If you thought my nose was bright,
you should see me now on the 8th night!
”I’m not looking for a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, but just some regular “pot” will help me cruise HIGHER and HIGHER on my journey!”
”I request an oxygen mask when flying over SMOKE CHIMNEYS!”
“And a sweater. Bubbe said chimneys are drafty.”
“Don’t forget the scarf for my neck & booties for my young tender feet!” 🙂
Bubby the Elf carved this. What’s your favorite color?
”I get my JOLLIES from ‘balls of holly.’ (Now at least that phrase rhymes, and I didn’t mention other kinds of JOLLY BALLS!)”
Yes, I converted. How did you know?
”At the piano bar in my neighborhood, everybody tries to over load me with BUCK SHOTS!”
”The children today request that I leave under their trees (Hanukkah bush or Christmas tree) only GELT. They must think I am the GOLDEN CALF they read about!”
You thought my nose was bright,
You should see me now on the 8th night!
“Nar ainer! It looks nothing like it! And now you want to do a circumcision?”
Rudolph is grounded, he got Blitzened.
Isn’t SANTA the abominable anagram?
Tim Allen, is that you?
Have a coke and a smile.
Put some rum in that coke, and I will smile too.
You just stepped in my figgy pudding.
Do you know what I know? What are you, a Weiss guy?
I’m game, Warden, if you’re game, Warden.
My icicles are straight out of Frozen.
You were expecting a Frosty reception?
”SANTA’S ELVES were “shelved” last year, since they had a SHORT toy production!”
”Santa now pays a universal charge for each toy delivered which really TAXES his mind!”
”Santa was denied permission to visit the White House, because his TOYS were MADE IN CHINA this year!”
”Santa now delivers toys to the LGBTQ community, because he now follows the RAINBOW destination!”
”According to “fake news,” Santa was considered a COMMUNIST “RED” SPY, because he sometimes flies into restricted air space in the U.S.!”
”Because of my Menorah children always ask me, ‘Can you dance the JEWISH HORA?”‘
Gevalt! You already forgot the waxless candles? Just think, you wanna be Santa or Shanda?
And this year, don’t forget the dripless candles!
Thanks, Robert Diamant, for your comment.
It was certainly an honor for you to be chosen for inclusion in “New York City Haiku.” (I tried in vain to access your writing in the Staten Island Advance.)
A whole book can be condensed in a good haiku, ideally seventeen syllables. Here’s one of your published poems , for example:
:There’s not much twerking
Going on at six a.m.
On the ferry boat.”
Beautiful. Commentary could run over hundreds of pages.
My favorite haiku probably is one by, I think, Arakida Moritake;
“A fallen leaf
Returning to the branch?
Butterfly.”
Anyway, a very warm welcome. Thanks again for adding golden spice to our stew.
“Can I light up your journey on Christmas Eve? Please, Santa, don’t be a nay-sleigher.”
You are very welcome. I am really not new to the group. I submitted some over the past 3-4 years and came in first some years ago. I really enjoy reading everyone’s submissions.
“You’ve got to let me know. I was offered a lucrative gig posing in the OU lobby for Hanukkah. Can you beat their price?”
“Hanukkah is the only time of the year when I can make any real money. Yet a lot of people accuse me of having a gelt complex.”
“Those reindeer games we wouldn’t let Rudolph play? Dreidl.”
“Rudolph has only one light, I have nine. There;s no contest.”
“Many times I suffered from HOOF and MOUTH DISEASE!”
“Once I crossed paths with Richard Spencer, and he gave me the Nazi salute. In return, I WikiLeak-ed all over his despicable body!”
My mother was Jewish
“Because my Bubbe thought I Wouldn’t amount to much, I always gave her BUPKIS for the holidays to prove her point!”
“Just think of me as being a real MENSCH, AHEAD above all others!”
I’d rather ride with you this year–it’ll beat posing as U.J.A.’s Hanukkah symbol.
“Tell me it’s not on a Saturday.”
“Santa, you shouldn’t let Rudolph drink alcoholic beverages, because his nose is RED enough!”
“Santa, I want you to know that I produced many offspring over the years. I have a condition now called BRAG-ga-DOE-cio!”
Nicky, if you’re auditioning for the North Pole Follies production of Fiddler, that getup will not get you the gig in the ghetto.
Why is it so important to you if I like sour cream or apple sauce on my latkes?
Ashkenazi, Sephardic, Orthodox, Humanist, Reconstructionist, Hasidic? I’m from north of the Arctic Circle; you figure it out!!
Do you think the anti-semites really care how man horns I have?
Well, the anti-Semites have 2 horns (for the DEVIL incarnate)! 🙂
Tha above should be “many.”
Nick, please stop horning in on the conversations I am having with Rudy; he is not converting yet).
Trump will blame me for YOUR decision to skip the White House this year.
It was the last straw when you threatened to replace us with drones!
Look, I am not getting into a Talmudic dispute with you about my inability to lay teffillin!
It is truly stereotypical that on December 25, I get an urge for Chinese food….
No, Nick; calling it a Chanukah bush does not change anything…..
Hey, I happen to have loved Adam Sandler’s Chanukah song before I converted…
And by the way, “White Christmas” and “Easter Parade” were written by a member of my tribe, Irving Berlin.
My parents originally had it done to me for health purposes so I fortunately did not have to get the procedure done when I converted.
Yes, I know you’ve got Cole Porter, Noel Coward and Duke Ellington, but we’ve got Kern, Hammerstein, , Rodgers, Hart, Berlin, the Gershwins, Lerner, Loewe, Weill, Brecht, Loesser, Styne, Kander, Ebb, Bernstein, SONDHEIM. I could go on but you get the picture…..
“Santa, on my air routes, I need to stop often at StarBUCKS for that extra KICK of energy!”
“If you run out of my regular food, then I’ll take some BUCKwheat pancakes!”
“Where I was born, there were two basic animals which were the deer and swine. The community was called BUCKingHAM County!”
“I have to moonlight.”
“I can multi-task.”
Can you flick your Bic?
Did you know that Noel spelled backwards is Leon?
Don’t eat yellow latkes.
You look like you’ve had too much eggnog.
Have your people call my people.
It so happens that I am available this year.
“Because I studied the Talmud, I was once offered a professorship teaching religious studies at BUCKnell University!”
“I’m listed in Ripley’s Believe It or Not because I once “hooked up” with a wild horse. The results produced a BUCKing bronco!” (YIPPEE KI YAY!)
“I love college sports at the University of Texas – go LONGHORNS! When the crowd hollers, ‘HOOK EM HORNS,’ I always get TANGLED UP with the MASCOT!”
“Check it twice. It’s a hanukkiah.”
“There’s something Mrs. Claus wants you to know.”
“Surely you must have seen me on “Antiques Roadshow.”
I am taking a vacation next week in DEERfield Beach; it’s easy to find a minyan there….
Hey Nick, did you catch Bet Midler in “Hello Dolly,” earlier this year. Her rendition of “So Long DEERie” was awesome!
“When I tried out for the Milwaukee BUCKS team, the coach asked me, ‘Where’s the BEEF?”‘
Remember “Trees,” by Joyce Kilmer (1886-1918)?
I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the sweet earth’s flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
********************************************
Well, here’s “Trees: Part II.” written by current funnyman Mo Rocca:
Joyce Kilmer’s famous poem “Trees”
Always leaves me ill at ease.
You know the verse I’m speaking of,
The one where Joyce professes love
For every tree that’s ever been,
Deciduous or evergreen.
The couplets jangle every time
With singsong meter, obvious rhyme.
The sentiment, it seems, well … false,
A bit too thick with grandma’s schmaltz.
So as you’ll gather, I’m no fan.
And by the way–he was a man.
******************************************
Ordinarily, this would end here, but my exchange with Robert Diamant reminded me of Ogden Nash, who wrote this topper:
I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I’ll never see a tree at all.
🙂 🙂 🙂
Mr. Lebowitz, my favorite Nash lines:
“The Bronx?
No thonx”
Nick, sorry, I thought you said “horns of plenty,” not “plenty of horns.” I’m dyslectic!
Wayne LaPierre asked me, “Do you have a problem delivering TOY GUNS to NRA members?”
“Well,” I said, “I may get ‘SHOT DOWN’ if I COMPLAIN!”
Robert D.:
Winter Morning Poem
Winter is the king of showmen
Turning tree stumps into snowmen
And houses into birthday cakes
And spreading sugar over lakes.
Smooth and clean and frosty white
The world looks good enough to bite.
That’s the reason to be young
Catching snowflakes on your tongue.
Snow is snowy when it’s snowing
I’m sorry it’s slushy when it’s going.
—-Ogden Nash
“That’s O.K. if you don’t like my jokes because I have a TOUGH BUCKSKIN HIDE!”
“Santa, no wonder you never invite me into your home. You have a sign on your front door that says, ‘THE BUCK STOPS HERE!”‘
Yes Nick, I know Bing Crosby never recorded “White Chanukah.”
The transition occurred overnight.
I went to bed thinking of boughs of holly and woke up thinking of slices of cholly.
Well, we both agree that “The Book of Mormons” was hysterically funny..
Nick, you are confusing them. Shlmeil” is the one who spills the soup; “shlmazel” is the one who gets the soup spilled on him.”
“The Nun’s Story” used to be my favorite film; now it’s “Yentl.”
Nick, just because you eat bagels and lox after church on Sundays does not make you eligible to be counted as part of a minyan!
Nick, did you coin the phrase “flyover states?” This December 25, please fly over Pennsylvania, Michigan, Indiana, Michigan and Wisconsin….
I thought I told you that Jews do not need oil changes during Chanukah…
Nick, I’m sure you can understand why I vociferously protested “The Deer Hunter” winning an Academy Award for best picture…
You know I was never able to rise above buck private when I flew for the Air Force….
I had to join a reform synagogue because I cannot secure a yarmulke to my head.
Nick, the title is not “Deer Evan Hanson…”
I’m the one who lobbied to change “ARMistice Day” to Veterans Day.”
Deer Diary….
Waddaya mean there’s a spelling error? It is MY diary….
My great grandfather’s favorite serial on 1950s TV was “Buck Rogers.”
Nick, Robert D. Diamant submitted forty-five captions! Someone should tell him to get a life….
I DO NOHAVE A BUCKet LIST!!!!
On November 22, 1963, JFK was assassinated. His death wasn’t the only death on that day. Aldous Huxley also died on that November 22nd. But there was one more death on that day. It was the death of Vaughn Meader’s career.
Vasughn Meader was the best John F. Kennedy impersonator ever. He looked like JFK and sounded exactly like him. He was very funny and made a lot of money from his performances and albums. Here are three of his bits. In the first one he is distributing Caroline’s and John John’s toys to them:
“Nine of the PT boats, two of the Yogi Bear beach balls, and the ball of Silly Putty belong to Caroline. Nine of the PT boats, one of the Yogi Bear beach balls, and the two Howdy Doody plastic bouncing clowns are baby John’s. The rubber swan is mine.”
In another bit, he was asked the chances of a Jewish president: “Well, I think they’re pretty good. Let me say, I don’t see why a person of the Jewish faith can’t be president of the United States. Of course I know as a Catholic I could never vote for him, but other than that …”
Or, in a mock interview, a reporter asks: “Sir, when are we going to send a man to the moon?” And Meader/JFK answers: “Whenever Mr. Goldwater wants to go.”
After that fateful day in 1963, the anniversary of which is rapidly approaching, Vaughn Meader’s career went down the drain. He had been a one-trick pony or, if you’ll pardon my irresistible pun (sorry, Dale) using the lyric from a Rodgers and Hart song, a Johnny one-note, whose talent was useless after the real John was gunned down.
The night after the assassination, Lenny Bruce got onstage in New York City, grabbed the microphone, and offered the very last word: “Boy, did Vaughn Meader get fucked.”
“My religious teaching allows me to get on bended knee and SPRAY!”
“Pearl S. Buck wrote THE GOOD EARTH, and like the GOOD BUCK that I am, I help fertilize it!”
Gerald, a day none of us will ever forget! I loved Meader’s take on JFK; I believe he was on Ed Sullivan a lot. I’m having a lot of fun participating in this contest.
Robert D., and everybody else here is having a lot of fun thanks to YOUR wonderful contributions. Thanks again for all you do.
Its good thing Christmas Eve lines up with Chanukkah this year, Rudolph.
I meant–It’s a good thing…
Robert D., and YOUR wonderful contributions add immeasurably to everyone else’s fun.
Thanks for everything.
Rudolph’s sick? Sure , I’ll guide your sleigh tonight.
“Santa, do I need to ‘Whistle While I Work,’ or can I just pretend to chew my cud?”
Nick, are you delivering toys to Virginia first because Virginia said that there is a Santa Claus?
Time for Santa’s VIAGRA
+++
Santa has a FIRM OUTlook on life (when on VIAGRA)!
+++
Sometimes the VIAGRA gets stuck in his gums. Then he has what the Brittish calls a STIFF upper lip!
***
Sometimes the VIAGRA gets stuck in his throat. Therefore you might say that he doesn’t need a neck brace!
***
Santa (when on VIAGRA) likes many HO-HO-HOS in his life, but don’t tell Mrs. Claus!
+++
In conclusion, we should all recognize Gerald Lebowitz for his HARD work (and he won’t admit to using VIAGRA as if he needs it). Now and again, he enjoys a STIFF drink (VIAGRA added?). I admire his ability to stay on top (VIAGRA again?) of POTENT subjects (if you understand my meaning). You are the BEST (man) Gerald (VIAGRA?)! THANKS! 🙂
You blew out my candles because of someone’s birthday?
Gerald, I am raising a glass in recognition of your Herculean efforts. Before my transition, I would have filled it with Chianti; now I chug down Manischevitz Concord grape…
“Recently it was so cold at the North Pole, that I was chased by a ‘Woolly’ polar bear. When he caught up with me, he gave me a terrible FROSTBITE!”
“Santa, on top of your house you are growing a beautiful Christmas tree. This may qualify you for a GREENHOUSE (LEED) certification!”
Did you sign the Non-Compete Claus?