Cartoon Caption Contest

Prove Your Comedy Chops with Moment’s Cartoon Caption Contest

Welcome to the Moment Magazine Cartoon Caption Contest, founded with the help of New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff, and drawn by New Yorker cartoonist Ben Schwartz.

Do you have a way with words and humor? If so, look at the cartoon below and send us a caption—or two or three! Plus scroll down to vote for your favorite caption. It’s free and fun!

Winners may claim a free Moment subscription for a friend of family member. Contest open to U.S. residents 18 and above.

Plus: Read interviews with some of our most prolific caption contest contributors here.

Submit a caption for this cartoon by July 31 by writing it in as a comment at the bottom of this page!

Vote for your favorite caption by filling out the form immediately below!

“I’m gonna make you an offering you can’t refuse.”
—Paul Root Wolpe, Decatur, GA


“Don’t make us come up there.”
—Rich Wolf, Westminster, MD


“Are you from the Eternal Revenue Service?”
—Dale Stout, Colorado Springs, CO

Vote for your favorite! The winner will receive a free subscription to Moment to give to a friend. Any U.S. resident age 18 or older can enter.

Vote for your favorite caption

Chuckle at the Winter 2020 winning caption—and see who wrote it!

“My garage sale went better than expected.”
—Arkady Elterman, Boston, MA

How to Submit Your Caption(s)

Submit as a comment below by July 31, 2020. Finalists will appear in the upcoming issue. To vote for the winner of the Spring 2020 contest (see finalists above), use the vote form.

184 Comments
  • Noah Schiffman 19:40h, 07 June Reply

    “You may have made man, but I’m A made man”

  • Delano Britt 19:53h, 07 June Reply

    This has been another fun contest. I was so glad to enter. I would like to personally thank everyone else who entered.

  • William Agress 00:56h, 09 June Reply

    “Today you are a man. “

  • William Agress 01:31h, 09 June Reply

    “Welcome to the auditions for “Fiddler in the Rough”.

  • Marvin Sager 07:07h, 09 June Reply

    “Shalom, you look like a real MENTCH!”

  • Marvin Sager 07:15h, 09 June Reply

    “Welcome, my MISHPACHA has finally arrived!”

  • Marvin Sager 07:27h, 09 June Reply

    “Greetings, your BRIS ceremony is in my delicate hands!”

  • Marvin Sager 07:36h, 09 June Reply

    “Boychik, do I have a woman for you!”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 14:57h, 09 June Reply

    Congratulations, Paul, and, of course, Rich and Dale.
    The verdict’s in; the judges didn’t fail.
    To the old, goodbye; to the new, hello:
    It’s another opening of another show.

    Best to you all. Good submissions!

    • Richard 19:54h, 10 June Reply

      Thank you Gerald.

    • Dale Stout 23:48h, 15 June Reply

      Thank you, Gerald. Between Wolpe and Wolf, I’m just Warp and Woof.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 15:03h, 09 June Reply

    “I’ve been waiting 250,000 years. You’re now a MAN, my son!”

  • JR 16:39h, 09 June Reply

    “Charles, how wonderful: four generations of family at your Bar Mitzvah.”

  • Arkady Elterman 17:18h, 09 June Reply

    “You’ve evolved from ape to Abe.”

    • Arkady Elterman 23:02h, 24 June Reply

      “You’ve evolved from ape to Shlomo sapiens.”

      • Arkady Elterman 15:56h, 25 June Reply

        This would be better as “You’re one step away from Shlomo sapiens.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:44h, 09 June Reply

    Arkady,

    Should the rest of us quit here?

    You’ve set the bar almost impossibly high with your June 9, 17:18h caption suggestion.

    Couldn’t you have waited a while? 🙂

    • Larry Lesser 11:44h, 10 June Reply

      Arkady’s entry was quite good and I almost quit, but then I went ape sh** with creativity as you can see below

  • D Rokach 17:52h, 09 June Reply

    “You’re all welcome at our renovated mikvah.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 20:10h, 09 June Reply

    “Shalom. I was waiting until you converted.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:39h, 09 June Reply

    “Thank G-d it’s you. I would’ve been afraid to perform a bris on the other three.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:55h, 09 June Reply

    “I have one piece of advice for you, my boy. If someone offers you an apple, don’t take it.”

  • jim gorman 01:59h, 10 June Reply

    “The assent of Manischewitz “

  • Marvin Sager 06:42h, 10 June Reply

    You don’t have to hide in the jungle “closet” anymore!”

  • Marvin Sager 06:54h, 10 June Reply

    You are not exactly “PUTTIN’ ON THE RITZ!”

  • Marvin Sager 07:15h, 10 June Reply

    “Now stop monkeying around and get a job!”

  • Larry Lesser 09:51h, 10 June Reply

    Mordecai Kaplan was right — we’re an evolving civilization!

  • Larry Lesser 09:53h, 10 June Reply

    What’s next — an orangutan on the Seder plate?

  • Larry Lesser 09:55h, 10 June Reply

    Mordecai Kaplan was right — we’re an evolving civilization!

  • Larry Lesser 10:16h, 10 June Reply

    Mazal Tov and Simian Tov!

  • Larry Lesser 10:29h, 10 June Reply

    We’ve recently had reconciliation with primates in Canada, Poland, and Ukraine.

  • Larry Lesser 10:37h, 10 June Reply

    hey, how about we gorilla some shishlik?

  • Gerald Lebowitz 10:46h, 10 June Reply

    “You’re now exactly 250,013 years old—time for you to learn your bar-mitzvah haftorah.”

  • Larry Lesser 10:58h, 10 June Reply

    A vibrant Judaism goes beyond “monkey see, monkey do”!

  • Larry Lesser 11:00h, 10 June Reply

    I’m from Monsey, not monkey!

  • Larry Lesser 11:20h, 10 June Reply

    The Torah transcends the “infinite monkey theorem”!

  • Larry Lesser 11:31h, 10 June Reply

    Sukkot celebrates the Origin of (the 4) Species!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 12:38h, 10 June Reply

    “I don’t know why Charles Darwin titled his book ‘The Descent of Man.’

    Baruch Ha Shem, it looks more like an ascent to me.”

  • Marvin Sager 12:43h, 10 June Reply

    Were you in the movie, “ESCAPE FROM THE PLANET OF THE APES?”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:08h, 10 June Reply

    What kind of story can be told at the beginning of a contest in which everyone is thinking of a new, creative approach? Here’s one, courtesy of David Wolpe (related to Paul Root Wolpe, one of our winners?):

    A thousand years from now when scientists have solved all the questions that plague humanity, they are finally ready for the ultimate challenge. They elect a representative to address God.

    “God,” says the scientist in charge. “You are no longer needed. You served a function in your day, but that day is gone. We can do everything that You can do, so goodbye.”

    There is a moment of silence. Then a voice booms out of the sky. “EVERYTHING?”

    “Yes,” answers the scientist, “everything.”

    “Can you make a human being from dust?”

    “Absolutely.”

    “OK,” says God. “Let’s see you do it.”

    The scientist reaches down and digs his hands into the earth.

    “Oh, no,” says God.

    “GET YOUR OWN DUST!”

    • jim gorman 01:31h, 11 June Reply

      Gerald, I hadn’t heard this story, and I am a big fan of Rabbi Wolpe. I enjoy his many offerings on YouTube. There exists a debate between Rabbi Wolpe and the late Christopher Hitchens. I recommend looking at it. I won’t post the link here because that gets me in trouble. I once had a comment removed by the editorial staff for a similar indiscretion. It is easy to look it up using a few keywords, and it would be worthwhile to do so. It contains a particularly powerful apologetic argument that compares a three-year-old child’s ability to understand G-d to that of an adult to do the same. And how much greater the gap between an adult’s intellectual capacity and that of, say G-d. He says it better, but it is a particularly appealing trope. Check it out if you are so inclined

  • Larry Lesser 19:27h, 10 June Reply

    Please rise for the Aleinu!

  • Marvin Sager 07:48h, 11 June Reply

    I thought I posted these on June 9, but they didn’t show up. So here you go!
    +++
    (1) “SHALOM, you look like a real MENSCH!”

    (2) “Welcome, my MISHPACHA has finally arrived!”

    (3) “Greetings, your BRIS ceremony is in my delicate hands!”

    (4) “BOYCHIK, do I have a woman for you!”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:38h, 11 June Reply

    Jim,

    Thanks for the information. Rabbi Wolpe, you know, has a small weekly column in the Jewish Week. Here is a sample of one of his comments:

    “Knowing where to find information is not the same as possessing it. Each fact we learn is arranged in the matrix of all we already know. One who knows how to Google ‘Shakespeare sonnets’ cannot be compared to the one who has memorized Shakespeare’s sonnets. The latter carries the words with him. The former is an accountant of knowledge; he knows where the treasure is, but it does not belong to him.

    “Real education instills a desire for knowledge, not merely the tools to acquire it. We are shaped by what we know and what we yearn to know. The Talmud tells us that as a young man Hillel was so desperate for words of Torah that he climbed on the roof of the study house to hear the discourses of his great predecessors, Shemaya and Avtalion. Noticing the darkness, they looked up and saw the young man on the skylight, covered with snow. The Rabbis rescued Hillel, washed and anointed him, and sat him by the fire.

    “’If you want to build a ship,’ wrote Antoine de Saint- Exupery, ‘don’t drum up people together to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the sea.’

    “First teach children to love learning; the Web will wait.”

    Jim, my favorite Wolpe book is his 1999 “Making Loss Matter.”

    Incidentally, if you want to read marvelous articles, look up some of our Joshua Rokach’s essays in The Forward. Not only is he an accomplished humorist, he’s a very incisive writer with a formidable wealth of knowledge.

    Thanks again for your always great responses. It’s like lobbing a tennis ball across a net knowing reassuringly that it will always come back.

  • Rich Wolf 17:56h, 11 June Reply

    “Mr.Darwin, I presume?”

  • Rich Wolf 18:01h, 11 June Reply

    “Evolution, Smevolution. Let’s get you to my tailor!”

  • Rich Wolf 18:03h, 11 June Reply

    “I know it’s cold, but it looks like survival of the littlest!”

  • Rich Wolf 18:04h, 11 June Reply

    “Naturally, I selected you my boy!”

  • Marvin Sager 18:28h, 11 June Reply

    “Before our next meal, we should enjoy an APEritif!”

  • Marvin Sager 18:31h, 11 June Reply

    “Of your ancestors, you are at the APEx!”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 13:32h, 12 June Reply

    Dinah, here’s a true story. A man living in Jerusalem came home unexpectedly late and realized with a jolt that because he was saying kaddish, he would need to say ma’ariv with a minyan. But services had ended at all the synagogues. What to do? He had an inspiration. He called nine cab companies and independently asked each one of them to send a driver to make his minyan and said that he would pay each one for his time. Everything worked out as he had hoped. But after the prayers were concluded, all the drivers strongly waved away payment, saying that they were glad to have performed the mitzvah, and then drove away.

    Only in Israel. 🙂

  • Marvin Sager 07:15h, 13 June Reply

    “The military needs talented men like you with a background in GORILLA warfare.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 14:43h, 13 June Reply

    “I’ve been waiting for you. Unfortunately the other three don’t count for the minyan.”

  • Marvin Sager 17:58h, 13 June Reply

    “For the cookout, you will need a bib and a APEron.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 22:14h, 13 June Reply

    “Mazel tov. Come with me. Don’t worry about your ancestors. One day all apes will become apps.”

  • Stephen Nadler 22:58h, 13 June Reply

    “First things first, my boy. Let’s put on tefillin.”

  • Stephen Nadler 22:59h, 13 June Reply

    “It’s all about survival of the Yiddish.”

    • Dale Stout 04:16h, 20 June Reply

      I like it.

  • Marvin Sager 07:00h, 14 June Reply

    “At the cookout, you can have an APErol SPRITZ!”

  • JR 10:59h, 14 June Reply

    “Your pets van sit next to the women’s balcony.”

  • D Rokach 16:40h, 14 June Reply

    ‘You misunderstood last week’s sermon. I said nudnicks, not nudenicks.”

  • D Rokach 16:43h, 14 June Reply

    “Thank you for observing our gun-free, no-concealed-carry zone.”

  • D Rokach 16:45h, 14 June Reply

    Conversion Express Station II: Bris

  • D Rokach 16:48h, 14 June Reply

    “Your Shatnez test results were positive.”

  • JR 18:31h, 14 June Reply

    “Your pets can join us in the Social Hall for kiddush..”

  • JR 18:32h, 14 June Reply

    “Your pets can stay for kiddush in the Social Hall.”

  • JR 18:51h, 14 June Reply

    “The pets’ minyan meets in the Social Hal.”

  • Delano Britt 19:04h, 14 June Reply

    Everybody, Group Hug.

  • Marvin Sager 20:42h, 14 June Reply

    Your nickname should be JUNGLE GYM. But, you can “exercise” your right to change it.

  • D Rokach 07:45h, 15 June Reply

    “Mammals have been assigned the upper deck.”

  • Marvin Sager 08:41h, 15 June Reply

    “I need to paint your picture for POSTERIOR purposes.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 12:07h, 15 June Reply

    “How could you possibly say that I failed the shatnez test? You’re just trying to pull the wool over my eyes.”

    (Sorry, Dinah. I’ll repent during the high holidays.)

  • Cary Antebi 13:45h, 15 June Reply

    “Come in guys. We just needed four more for a minion.”

  • Cary Antebi 13:50h, 15 June Reply

    “Just in time for your Bar Mitzvah…Now you are a man!’

  • Cary Antebi 13:55h, 15 June Reply

    “Your mother is going to be thrilled to see that you’re finally standing up straight.”

  • Cary Antebi 14:00h, 15 June Reply

    “So what have you been up to all this time?”

  • Cary Antebi 14:04h, 15 June Reply

    “So how much longer before you evolve in to a doctor?”

    • Dale Stout 04:38h, 20 June Reply

      Funny.

  • Marvin Sager 14:39h, 15 June Reply

    “Your invitation was for a dude ranch, not a NUDE ranch!”

  • Dale Stout 23:24h, 15 June Reply

    My son, the Manthropologist.

  • Dale Stout 23:26h, 15 June Reply

    I got heads, Darwin got the tail end.

  • Dale Stout 23:36h, 15 June Reply

    Schlong time no see.

  • Dale Stout 00:06h, 16 June Reply

    Is that your left hand, or are you growing an ape-pendedge?

  • Dale Stout 00:09h, 16 June Reply

    Which came first, the chicken or the soup?

    • Marvin Sager 12:47h, 17 June Reply

      Ask a “nosher” about the word SCHMALTZ.

  • Dale Stout 00:12h, 16 June Reply

    Foreskin and seven years ago…

    • Dale Stout 19:15h, 16 June Reply

      Submitted by Ape Lincoln.

  • Dale Stout 00:19h, 16 June Reply

    It’s the missing Monkevich.

  • Marvin Sager 08:49h, 16 June Reply

    “By walking upright, you avoided the MONKEY WRENCH back!”

  • Marvin Sager 08:59h, 16 June Reply

    If you are “stuck” in the past, then you must be using GORILLA GLUE!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 11:57h, 16 June Reply

    “Rabbi, you’re too strict. Tell me, would a woolly mammoth pass the shatnez test?”

    (Dinah, see what you started?)

  • Marvin Sager 16:27h, 16 June Reply

    In your “ape world,” bigamy means two lovers. But in the “modern world,” bigamy means two mothers-in-law.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 19:22h, 16 June Reply

    Marvin, I can picture a Marx Brothers routine:

    Chico: You know, I got two wives.
    Groucho: My God, that’s bigamy.
    Chico: You’re right. I support two families. It IS is big o’ me.

    (For all I know, they MIGHT have used it. But thanks, Marvin, for the inspiration.)

  • Marvin Sager 09:06h, 17 June Reply

    5 kinds of APES:

    (1) Bonobos (2) Chimpanzees (3) Orangutans (4) Gorillas (5) Humans / SOPHISTICATED APES ?!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 13:47h, 17 June Reply

    “You can’t go to shul that way. You can wear my tallis.”

    • Marvin Sager 15:05h, 17 June Reply

      Gerald,

      Is there a handicap section in your shul for ALTERKAKER SILVERBACKS?

  • Gerald Lebowitz 15:31h, 17 June Reply

    Marvin,

    No; GOLDbacks. We only take the best!

    • Marvin Sager 17:34h, 17 June Reply

      Gerald,

      In that case, there is special brand underwear for ALTERKAKER GOLDbacks. The special BRAND underwear helps them JOCKEY for seating positions! 🙂

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:58h, 17 June Reply

    Marvin,

    To clarify my previous post, just last week we had two applicants for the handicap section in my shul: a man named Silverstein and a woman named Goldstein. I’m sure you’ll accurately guess which person we took.

    (She was very happy to have been chosen.)

    • Marvin Sager 17:54h, 17 June Reply

      Gerald,

      The woman named GOLDstein must be a GEM of a person. A real BALABUSTA in her family, and not some YENTA!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:31h, 17 June Reply

    Marvin,

    Has it occurred to you that so many people who have the names of precious stones are Jewish? Consider “Gold.” Anyone having that surname almost has to be one of the chosen people. Or Diamond. Or Silver. Or Pearl. Or Ruby (remember Harry Ruby of Kennedy assassination fame?). Or Sapphire {Safire). Even the word “money” is “gelt” in German and Yiddish and is Jewish. I once knew an infamous Jewish landlord named Geltman.

    There was a guy who was in love with a girl named Pearl. I later asked him why they split. He said, “I loved Pearl, that’s true, but I didn’t get along with the mother of pearl.’

    At this point I expect a drumroll.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:36h, 17 June Reply

    Oops! I meant JACK Ruby of Kennedy assassination fame. Harry Ruby was a famous songwriter way back when.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:57h, 17 June Reply

    Oops 2: I should’ve been more careful and used the word “jewelry” instead of “precious stones” for accuracy in my previous comments. That’s what comes from writing too fast.

  • Marvin Sager 08:40h, 18 June Reply

    Gerald,

    Your report on wealth begs the following scenario:

    A man named Goldman was from Golden Colorado and had a golden retriever dog. He was a gold jeweler and specialized in gold coins from around the world. Mr. Goldman had a gold membership in Gold’s Gym and a gold elite status at the Marriott Hotel. By the way, he had many gold teeth and even a gold toilet in his house. He drove a golden Cadillac and his privately owned horse named Gold Nugget won the Gold Cup at the races.

    Unfortunately, Mr. Goldman married a gold digger who absconded with much of his money. At this point, he considered that he possed “fool’s gold” which broke his heart. When Mr. Goldman died, he was buried in a cemetery near Golden Pond.

    I could continue the story, but I am in my golden years with limited time to write more.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 11:01h, 18 June Reply

    Marvin,

    What can I say? There isn’t much,
    Except to say you still have that golden touch.

    (Be careful, though. Remember what happened to King Midas. 🙂 )

  • Marvin Sager 11:56h, 18 June Reply

    You could have been “Tarzan of the Apes.” But, by MESSING AROUND in the bushes you became a CHEETAH!

  • Gerald Lebowitz 13:10h, 18 June Reply

    Marvin,

    I’d rather be Tarzan of the apes. He was supposed to be a real swinger. When he was making movies, he could be found in Los Angeles at the corner of Hollywood and Vine.

  • Marvin Sager 15:58h, 18 June Reply

    Gerald,

    Tarzan was a conflicted creature since he had to choose from his beautiful Jane and his gorilla family. This was forced upon him when humans approached his world. In his early upbringing, he was affectionate with the feminine apes. As it turned out, he really was a “swinger” in the jungle and chose to be TARZAN THE APE MAN to the detriment of his Jane! As the old saying goes, “You can take Tarzan out of the Jungle, but you can’t take the jungle out of Tarzan!”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 15:48h, 19 June Reply

    Cartoon idea: Man talks into phone:

    “I have a great weight-loss plan. I make it my business to attend at least three virtual dinners a week.”

    (I hope there won’t be any bidding war over this one! 🙂 )

    • jim gorman 18:19h, 19 June Reply

      Zero calorie food for thought.

  • Marvin Sager 17:03h, 19 June Reply

    Do you remember the T.V. program titled Paladin?
    How about a new version:

    Have Schlong–Will Travel

  • Robert D. Diamant 18:23h, 19 June Reply

    You say you want some evolution,
    Well you know,
    We all want to change the world

  • Robert D. Diamant 18:30h, 19 June Reply

    Boychiks, wassup?

  • Robert D. Diamant 18:35h, 19 June Reply

    Did you know Charles Darwin’s real name was Chaim Davidowutz?

  • Robert D. Diamant 18:42h, 19 June Reply

    Sorry guys, we’re out of talesim; we do have jock straps, however….

  • Robert D. Diamant 18:46h, 19 June Reply

    Welcome to a world of social distancing, masks, TRUMPANDEMIC and Zoom. Homo not so erectus anymore?

    • Marvin Sager 14:43h, 20 June Reply

      That’s why we have Viagra & Clorox. 🙂

  • Marvin Sager 20:11h, 19 June Reply

    “You need new clothes like a wildlife ZOOt suit.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:47h, 19 June Reply

    Good. Robert D. came back. So did Stephen. And Delano. And Jim. Now where is Adrian? Are his granddaughters visiting again and taking all his time?

    Just trying to keep tabs. The more the merrier.

    • Adrian Storisteanu 15:51h, 20 June Reply

      Hi Gerald! Inspiration is virally dangerous. Luckily, I’m safe…

  • John Grosman 00:34h, 20 June Reply

    Oy vey! My wife’s brothers all visiting at the same time!

  • Dale Stout 04:22h, 20 June Reply

    There will be no monkeyshines around here.

  • Dale Stout 04:23h, 20 June Reply

    At least you got top banana.

  • Dale Stout 04:24h, 20 June Reply

    You call this your Doh Minion?

  • Dale Stout 04:25h, 20 June Reply

    Tassels are hassles.

  • Dale Stout 04:29h, 20 June Reply

    See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil: very good.

  • Dale Stout 04:30h, 20 June Reply

    Stalin, Lenin and Marx agree: don’t make a monkey’s uncle out of me.

  • Dale Stout 04:31h, 20 June Reply

    There was no Big Bang. More like Bada Bing, Bada Boom.

  • Dale Stout 04:32h, 20 June Reply

    It’s a goy.

  • Dale Stout 04:43h, 20 June Reply

    Naked you enter this world but go out in style.

  • Marvin Sager 07:56h, 20 June Reply

    Did you hear about the “Call of the Wild?” That’s WILD TURKEY BOURBON!

  • Marvin Sager 08:12h, 20 June Reply

    “You are a BEAST of a MAN!”

  • Michael Landau 11:49h, 20 June Reply

    “So, you’ve finally mensched yourself!”

  • Michael Landau 11:50h, 20 June Reply

    “So, you;ve finally mensched yourself!”

  • Dale Stout 21:41h, 20 June Reply

    I never metamorphosis I didn’t like.

    • jim gorman 00:12h, 21 June Reply

      Brilliant . . . I like it!

      • Dale Stout 21:08h, 22 June Reply

        Thank you, Jim!

  • Dale Stout 21:49h, 20 June Reply

    Let’s not go out on a limb with golem.

  • Marvin Sager 04:14h, 21 June Reply

    “According to your medical analysis, you have been exposed to KING KONG FLU!”

  • Marvin Sager 08:15h, 21 June Reply

    Your DNA indicates that you are a cross between a Neanderthal and an Abominable Snowman. That makes you an Apeman with “BIG FOOTAGE!”

  • Ivan Greenberg 15:49h, 22 June Reply

    Welcome to the White Man’s world!

  • Marvin Sager 07:52h, 23 June Reply

    “Your SCHMECKLE is hysterical, I mean historical.”

  • Rabbi Peter H Grumbacher 17:29h, 23 June Reply

    “Today you are a man, so stop acting like an animal!”

  • Charles Patterson 21:30h, 23 June Reply

    “It was a long trek but you never gave up.”

  • Joyce Videlock 07:28h, 24 June Reply

    I’ve been waiting ages for you!

  • Marvin Sager 12:26h, 24 June Reply

    “Special for you, a free BIKINI WAX at Madame Tussauds Museum!”

    • Marvin Sager 11:18h, 28 June Reply

      Who whispered, WAX ON–WAX OFF?

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:52h, 24 June Reply

    I was going through some papers, and the following quote popped out. Someone once sent it to me. I wish I could claim authorship, but I can’t. It’s well worth reading.

    Jim, I think it will resonate with you:

    “Everything is ambiguous. Everything is always shifting and changing, and there are as many different takes on any given situation as there are people involved. Trying to find absolute rights and wrongs is a trick we play on ourselves to feel secure and comfortable.”

    Best to all, and welcome Joyce V., with your fresh response to our enigmatic cartoon.

    • jim gorman 12:58h, 27 June Reply

      Gerald, first let me join you in welcoming Joyce. Her caption is wonderfully simple and yet like all the better captions it works on several levels.
      Regarding your Pema Chödrön quote. No, I am not that well read. I am just very good at finding quotes on the web. Once again you opened the door. Now stand back . . .
      I am assuming you have something specific in mind when you quote “there are as many different takes on any given situation as there are people involved”, and this it is a beautifully apt quote today. In watching the TV coverage, the viewer could easily identify with Harry Lime in “The Third Man” and his view from the Ferris Wheel. He assumes each of those little ants running around is of little consequence to the big picture. But we can’t help ourselves and looking closer we each have our different “takes”. to quote Shakespeare “Therein lies the rub”.
      Some will see a wonderfully multiracial, multicultural, assemblage of peaceful demonstrators expressing long pent up frustrations. Others see a rampage of mostly minority hooligans augmented by a smattering of white, overly indulged, largely Jewish ingrates. They see police cars burned out, business burned out, looters with purely selfish motivation. To others it is just “Spring Break” on steroids. I trust this is what you were thinking when you posted this quote. And I apologize for this dark comment on what should be a light hearted escape vehicle.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 19:09h, 24 June Reply

    Hollywood producer Sam Goldwyn is reputed to have said “include me out” when asked to participate in something. But I’m no Sam Goldwyn. I don’t like to include anyone out. So let me not confine greetings to Joyce V. Let me add, among others, Rabbi Grumbacher, Ivan Greenberg, Charles Patterson, and Michael Landau.

    (Be glad this isn’t “The Divine Comedy,” in which you’d be greeted with the ominous words “Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here.”)

  • Marvin Sager 09:13h, 25 June Reply

    Gerald,

    With reference to Sam Goldwyn and my following cartoon caption:

    “You seem to have a CHIMP on your shoulder!” 🙂

  • Dale Stout 08:48h, 26 June Reply

    With a little makeup, you can star in the next Planet of the Apes.

  • Dale Stout 08:52h, 26 June Reply

    Welcome to mail-in voting.

  • Dale Stout 08:54h, 26 June Reply

    Please, each of you needs a mask.

  • Dale Stout 08:57h, 26 June Reply

    Call your mother. Use the missing CenturyLink.

  • Dale Stout 09:00h, 26 June Reply

    We’ll have an open bar mitzvah.

  • Dale Stout 09:05h, 26 June Reply

    Simon, someone’s making a Simian out of u.

  • Dale Stout 09:07h, 26 June Reply

    What do ape astronauts drink? OranguTang.

  • Dale Stout 09:25h, 26 June Reply

    We have to pay for everyone’s Medicare?!

  • Marvin Sager 10:52h, 26 June Reply

    From you, “hot women” acquire JUNGLE FEVER!

  • Marvin Sager 11:02h, 26 June Reply

    “Pets you would like are the SPIDER monkey and/or the SQUIRREL monkey.”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 17:02h, 26 June Reply

    “Shalom. Are you the mensch that I’ve been waiting for all this time, or will there be someone even more evolved than you coming along?”

  • Marvin Sager 18:33h, 26 June Reply

    A Summary of Apeman

    (Q) What kind of meat does a kosher Apeman NOT eat in the jungle?
    (A) WartHOGS & PORKupines.
    +++
    (Q) What is the name an Apeman uses when he is uncouth and unclean?
    (A) “Dirty Hairy.”
    +++
    (Q) What do you call an Apeman that goes crazy?
    (A) “Bananas.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 11:11h, 27 June Reply

    “Reform. That’s good too!”

    • Adrian Storisteanu 17:58h, 27 June Reply

      OR

      “Reform? That’s good too.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 11:15h, 27 June Reply

    “Look at you, boychick! You came so far in just 5780 years.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 11:24h, 27 June Reply

    “Forget that meshugeneh Darwin, he is not one of us.”

    • Adrian Storisteanu 09:41h, 01 July Reply

      “Shalom. I see you’ve met that meshugeneh Darwin on your way here.”

  • Adrian Storisteanu 11:27h, 27 June Reply

    “Let’s forget that meshugeneh Darwin and his monkey business.”

  • Marvin Sager 16:36h, 27 June Reply

    “You can audition for the CHIMP-IN-DALES.”

    • Dale Stout 09:24h, 30 June Reply

      Ooh ooh – give that man a banana! :^)

      • Marvin Sager 11:03h, 30 June Reply

        Dale,

        In your honor the name has been upgraded:

        CHIMP-IN-DALESTOUT !!!!! 🙂

  • Gerald Lebowitz 16:41h, 27 June Reply

    Adrian,

    To borrow from that great philosopher Yogi Berra, “It’s deja vu all over again.” No, I don’t mean Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris hitting back-to-back homers. I mean quoting from the same comic strip that I quoted for you a long time ago, “For Better or for Worse” by Lynn Johnston, because I thought it would appeal to your granddaughters.

    This week features seven panels. In the first panel the mother is brushing her long hair. Then, in the following balloons, she reminisces: “I remember when I was a little girl, watching my mother brush her hair in the wind.” She continues: “Her hair was long and gold colored, and I thought it was beautiful. I’d stand in the window where she couldn’t see me, wishing I had hair like my mother’s. Now, here I am, brushing my hair in the wind the way she did … and that wonderful memory comes back to me as clearly as if it were today.” And in the last panel we see her resuming the brushing of her long hair. But we also see her daughter standing in the window just as she once had, watching her wistfully.

    A beautiful strip that your granddaughters might still enjoy. The artist, Lynn Johnston, has herself had a very interesting life.

    All of you keep well and let us hear from you?

    • Adrian Storisteanu 17:56h, 27 June Reply

      Wonderful posting (and wonderful Lynn comic strip), thanks Gerald! I see we are both suckers for this kind of lovely schmaltz…

  • Suanne B Scherr 18:16h, 27 June Reply

    Welcome to Rabbinical School – Your final stop on the evolutionary chain.

  • Gerald Lebowitz 21:30h, 27 June Reply

    Give me the “lovely schmaltz” anytime. Oscar Hammerstein II, you know, was often criticized for the sentimentality in his lyrics. Consider this from one of the songs in the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical “Carousel”:

    Friend: I’m glad you gotta fella, Carrie! What’s he like?

    (Music)

    Carrie: His name is Mister Snow
    And an upstandin’ man is he
    He comes home ev’ry night in his round-bottomed boat
    With a net full of herring from the sea.

    An almost perfect beau
    As refined as a girl could wish
    But he spends so much time in his round-bottomed boat
    That he can’t seem to lose the smell of fish.

    The fust time he kissed me, the whiff from his clo’es
    Knocked me flat on the floor of the room;
    But now that I love him, my heart’s in my nose
    And fish is my fav’rite perfume …

    Anyway, it was more than good to hear from you. I trust all is well. Thanks.

  • peter.pick 22:44h, 27 June Reply

    Baruch Hashem! You have straighten out your act!

  • Marvin Sager 11:26h, 28 June Reply

    Think of that in this way, in the modern world you have those “MONKEYS OFF YOUR BACK!”

  • Gerald Lebowitz 20:28h, 28 June Reply

    Cartoon idea: Waiter approaching the table of a seated couple in an upscale restaurant:

    “Can I interest you in some disinfectant?”

    (Sorry, you can’t win ’em all.)

    • Adrian Storisteanu 10:04h, 29 June Reply

      Soap du jour?

  • Marvin Sager 12:57h, 29 June Reply

    Read “The Naked Ape” and view your ancestors UNCOVERED & REVEALED!

  • Aldrei Sia 03:51h, 30 June Reply

    “That’s how you became a man?”

  • Marvin Sager 11:10h, 01 July Reply

    “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature.” Can you hide that ONE-EYED MONSTER?

  • Gerald Lebowitz 19:42h, 01 July Reply

    Breathes there a man with soul so dead who never to himself has said, “Damn it! Why didn’t I think of that when I had a chance to reply to so-and-so’s comments?”

    A beautiful chorus girl once held a door for Dorothy Parker with the words, “Age before beauty,” to which Dottie instantly replied, “Pearls before swine.” A perfect mot juste.

    Elizabeth Warren, on the other hand, was lobbed an easy ball by Donald Trump and struck out when she apologized for her claims of native American heritage instead of demolishing him after he derisively called her “Pocahontas.” She could have hit the ball out of the park by retorting, “I wish I were Pocahontas. Then I could scalp you and keep your ridiculous hair as a trophy.”

    Oh, well. We all often don’t think as fast as we need to, don’t we?

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